Struggling with post-op mood

[MagnoliaMama]

I expected a period of readjustment post-op, and to be somewhat less active and engaged in life for a while. But I'm struggling.

It's been about 9 weeks of pretty much feeling yucky and waiting for life to get better. I'm a food lover and much of my pre-op socializing was food centered. Now that's not really "on the menu", lol. I feel self conscious about my appearance, especially after having a plate removed last week and having one side of my face so much more swollen than the other, so I don't really feel like being out and running into people. The novelty of talking about my janky face to every person who asks is gone gone gone

The weather here in the Mid-Atlantic has been unseasonably chilly, gray, and rainy lately which isn't helping my mood either. But, I can't really get out of here for a break because I have kids in school, a husband whose work schedule leaves me the only parent available, and a schedule full of doctor's appointments.

Any tips for perking myself back up would be great. Any words of encouragement from those of you who've made the round trip from Happyville to Bummertown and back would be so welcome! When did life start to feel more normal for you?

[jaime]

Is there anything else (preferably positive/exciting) you can try to shift your focus to? It's hard not to think about your jaw every waking moment after surgery but it helps if work, hobbies, vacation, etc can help absorb some of your attention.

I know you said it's hard to get away for a break, so is there anything fun you can plan that doesn't require leaving town? What about a new hobby or book?

If none of that works for you, what about just consciously changing your thoughts as you notice yourself being negative? If you catch yourself feeling down about not eating, maybe remind yourself that your surgery was successful (I presume!) and that others aren't necessarily so lucky. Or whatever you want to tell yourself that gives you some perspective.

Hang in there...jaw surgery is a big deal. But the good news is that it's behind you now and things only go up from here.

[jaime]

Whoops, when I said "...feeling down about not eating" I should have added "whatever you want."

[sakura]

How about rewarding yourself when you hit little milestones? That really helped me look forward to things. Hit the 4 week mark? Time for a new scarf. Managed to get out of bed? That deserves time at the nail salon. Hit the 8 week mark? Well that deserves some new shoes. If you mark it on your calendar then you can see your progress too and feel proud you made it that far. And tell yourself you won't always be like this. think of it as a really crappy diet and soon you'll be able to eat what you want again.

[snapdresser]

I'm replying to this a little late; the weather's gotten nice over the last couple of days! I think there are some more storms blowing in though in your area Anyways, hopefully you got a little time in the sun the last couple of days. I know that life seems tough when you're busy all the time, not to mention cooped up because of the weather and post-op swelling. That's definitely normal. In my experience, the best way to fight it is to get out and have some time to yourself. Since you're self-conscious because of your swelling, go places where there aren't many people and nobody there knows you anyways. If you can go some place that's maybe a little farther from your home (like by your doc's office after an appt?) in the middle of the day, your chances of running into someone you know are low. Perhaps spend some time chilling at a bookstore that's not by your house. Maybe sit by a window to try and get some natural sunlight while reading. As the weather gets better it'll get easier to get out in the sun, and sunlight can have positive effects on your mood. I agree with what Jaime said about changing your thoughts. I found my best days during recovery were those where I was out driving in the sun, reminding myself that everything is alright

[Mart]

I think a lot of good advice has already been given so I won't add too much. When I went through double jaw surgery 4 months ago I made a wall calendar with just regular a4 paper and crossed off the days every night before I went to bed, it felt really good to do this and gives you the real feeling of progress. I also wrote underneath a quote that has always helped me when going through difficult times:

"This too shall pass"

[MagnoliaMama]

Thanks guys! My pep is coming back to my step, slowly but surely. Having to go back to being a swollen, painful mess at 2 months post-op really took it out of me. There's been some sunshine here for the first time in what feels like decades and I've been able to go soak up some fresh air and sun. I also went ahead and took advantage of my crappy mood by tackling some of my long-avoided tasks that I hate doing. I figured if I was going to be a grouch, I might as well give myself a good reason to be grouchy. Just knowing that those things are behind me has been great for helping me feel better.

I really really appreciate the support, with all my heart. Thank you all so much. It's hard to explain the immense frustration of a set back in recovery to people who aren't intimately familiar with how hard even a perfect recovery is. Thanks for being there!

[fixmenow]

Heya, I'm going through this too! But I'm in Canada and right now it is winter so I haven't been out much. Last night I decided to buy myself a Groupon for a haircut and partial highlights. So I now have a little distraction to figure out a new look for myself. Today was also my first appointment post-op with my orthodontist. A wire got changed and I got a new type of elastics to use. After my appointment I decided to acknowledge that it is exactly one month since my surgery and to treat myself. I ended up getting my eyebrows done, which doesn't sound like a lot but doing so has made me feel better about how I am looking. Small victories right!

I'm sure you're doing great now considering your post was from May
When did things turn around for you (if they have)?