Pessimistic about braces, looking for support...

[Hopefulsmile84]

Sorry, but I think your negative attitude isn't going to help you at all during this process

I'm sorry but that's who I am if that bothers you I can't help it and I have every right to have a negative attitude just like you having a positive one, Just because it bothers you isn't my problem.

Sometimes in life, yes... You do have to "suck it up" and deal with things. Life isn't going to be peachy all the time.

That is a terrible thing to say to someone like me. I lost an older brother in a car accident. I recently lost my grandmother I know pain in all it's forms this is a very uncompassionate and insensitive thing to say to anyone no matter what their age. I would never say that to anyone I know in pain or discomfort no matter the form. This type of judgement call is horrible. "suck it up" is like telling me I don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to not being able to handle things. Nevermind the fact I have a horrible aniexty disorder on top of everything else here. Seriously don't go throwing around words like that if you don't know the person it's not nice.

Placing a bunch of metal in your mouth in order to move your teeth around to straighten them isn't going to tickle.

Yeah I figured before hand but I didn't expect to be in so much pain I couldn't sleep. Seriously the extractions were easier than this because I can't get anyone to write me a prescription for anything stronger. Also I was not told this beforehand and I thought I made that clear in all my posts so if you read it this statement wouldn't have been necessary.

You will have pain and discomfort at times. But eventually, it does go away.

Ok define eventually I have had nothing but pain through this process for the last 3 months that's not temporary.

Try being a grown 43-year-old woman (and there are some here older than that) going through this.

I feel for you I do. Believe it or not I am compassionate to others and going through this myself I can only imagine what's like for you.

I'm sorry this sounds so harsh, but it seems like all you want to do here is complain, and not accept any kind, reassuring advice from anyone.

Not true I just haven't had the time or energy from the pain I've described in my last few posts to respond to everyone in this thread that has. Just because I don't respond doesn't mean I don't care. I also have to right to complain it sucks and not even you can deny that it does. I also feel I have a rather uncompassionate orthodontist and I feel the world in general is very uncompassionate right now. Thank you so much for your judgement and making me cry. I'm sitting here in extreme pain from a power chain I just got by surprise at my appointment today and the wonderful thing I come back to is this. Thanks so much for your KIND words. I don't think you're sorry at all. I hope that felt good for you to say so one of us is happy tonight.

Everyone here is trying to help, but you're not very receptive to it.

That's a judgement call without knowing me and I don't feel it is warranted or right for you to say that. I haven't posted enough for you to make that judgement call on me just yet. I know everyone is trying to help or I wouldn't be here. Complaining is usually a call for help which you don't seem to understand. If I did think being here wasn't helping I wouldn't have come here to post in the first place. Just because I complain and don't respond to others doesn't mean I'm not receptive.

This site has been a godsend to a lot of us who were willing to take the advice given.

I realize this or I wouldn't be here myself.

Just relax and think about how amazing your teeth are going to look at the end!

So you can be positive too? Indeed this seems to be the only bright side if there is one to this. I really wasn't the biggest fan of perfect teeth but the tooth that is in the roof of my mouth is damn annoying and pulling it would have been bad. I'm actually doing this for my health more than my looks which I personally think makes a much stronger argument then 'I want to look better'. I can't tell now how I will look and 18 months is a LONG LONG time from now and far from 'temporary' in my book. Not being able to eat or sleep for that long sounds a bit excessive for perfect teeth, for my health I'll deal. Though I'm personally wondering if I won't have health problems after this. My stress level has been through the roof.

Seriously compassion goes a long way. Let those of us that want to complain do, many people don't understand the pain and discomfort this causes but those that have been through it that's why I'm here or I wouldn't be. Just because I don't respond to you doesn't mean I don't hear you. I'm on this site on a regular basis since starting this and if I didn't want to be here for support why would I be here? I complain a lot and I'm a cynic it's just who I am and I doubt I will change. I really want to be positive but it's hard to do over night. Realize that not everyone is made of steel like you. I would never tell anyone no matter how much of a wimp to 'suck it up'.

My tattoo artist doesn't do this and tattooing isn't always the most pleasant experience but she made it so by listening and compassion. I complained about it and she didn't say 'suck it up'. Mostly 'I don't like it either it really sucks'. I don't get that from my orthodontist I get 'its a bit uncomfortable but not to bad'. Tell me who is more understanding and more compassionate? Do I not have a right to complain since complaining to my orthodontist is like complaining to a brick wall? I mean it when I say that. I'm sticking with him because I have a good idea he knows what he is doing unlike others I've consulted in this area that are just as uncompassionate. Plus he is somewhat closer to home.

Seriously think before you start writing to me and talking to me like I'm a child. I'm an adult in braces too and I would never say what you just said to me to anyone on this site no matter how much they were complaining.

[catgyrl]

I apologize if what I said came across wrong, or much stronger than I had intended. You are right - I do not know you or your background; all I know is what you have posted here. I just think it would be a shame to have to go through the next 15 months, or however much longer you have to go, feeling so upset. It was not my intent to try to impose my views on you. I hope you can accept my apology, and I hope that your pain eases up soon. I also did not mean to imply that I never go through pain or discomfort because, believe me... I do.

As for the "surprise" powerchain you just got, I'm discovering from reading other people's stories that almost everything our orthodontists do is a surprise. I'm not sure if they even know, themselves, what they're going to do until you come in. It would be nice for them to explain beforehand, or even while they're doing it. Maybe they think we are too dumb to understand anything.

Take care of yourself...

[klobird]

Hey Hopeful!

I am sorry you are having a tough time. I blog in the braces stories section--I feel like it is kind of my own personal journal and I am able to vent or do whatever I want--people can read it or not--whatever--I just like looking back and seeing where I have come from so far.

I am 55 with new braces!! And frequently I b*tch in my blog about it. I wish I wasnt ALWAYS aware of my braces--but when you are on the phone at work and lisping, or at dinner with friends hiding your food filled braces--well, it gets hard to be positive all the time. My thing is that after almost 3 months almost nothing has changed as far as I can see. And so I have really gotten kind of down about how hard this is and for what.

The thing is--it is hard and it is going to get harder for me. I have appliances coming up that, frankly, terrify me.
This is where I have to trust my orthodontist (who I can't stand). I really want to have straight, healthy teeth. I do not
want dentures--that's for old people!... I know that I will be glad in the end, and yes the end seems a zillion years away and sometimes I do feel claustrophobic and trapped, and lately sometimes even depressed about it...

However, I KNOW that I will have great teeth in the end--for the 1st time in my life!!...I paid over $5,000 for these puppies and I figure I am just going to have to do what it takes to get there--one effing day after another...
A couple of years is a relatively small price to pay for the smile I will have afterward, and a good smile will have a tremendous impact on my life.

It doesn't bother me at all to have braces at 55. And maybe you don't even want to read something from an old lady like me. When I go to the ortho, almost every single time there are way more adults there than kids. And the kids are great about it!! There are so many adults that I asked just how old there oldest patient is (thinking it would be around my age).
They have an 80yr old patient!!!!!! I asked WHY . The assistant said the lady just wanted to do something for herself...How great is that!!!

Well, I'm sorry about going on and on....you are being real--you are being yourself--you are expressing what you really feel. And that's OK. I just hope that it gets better for you, or at least that you can get to the point that you can stand it.
The time is really truly going fast for me, so much so that I can finally say--"ya, you know, there really will be an end to this"......I think when you get a couple of months down, that you will probably feel a little better about it...at least you may start to feel like--"ok, I'm on my way now"....

Do something really nice for yourself--something really special--you deserve it!!

[Crazy4Snow]

Hopefulsmile...I'm 3 months, 1 week and 3 days in and I feel your pain. There have been MANY times that I have wanted to go to my ortho and tell him to get them off NOW. But I'm so glad I endured the pain, the aggravation, the whole mess because everytime I look in the mirror I see the HUGE amount of progress I've made in such a short time. And now I KNOW that when it's all said and done I am going to have the smile of my dreams and it will have all been worth it.

So, stick it out...it gets better. Adjustments are painful (the days after not the actual adjustment) but other than that it's not that bad anymore.

Check out my blog when you have a moment or even just the progress pictures slideshow located here...it's amazing to see the changes and for me...it's worth all the crap we have to put up with.

http://tinselteethchronicles.blogspot.c ... hotos.html

[Hopefulsmile84]

catgyrl = Apology accepted. Thank you for the concern though it is appreciated. Some days are easier than others that day happen to be a awful day of course.

klobird = Thanks for understanding where I stand and glad to hear that it does get easier to a point. My biggest problem is I'm not a big fan of surprises or change in general and when pain is associated with it makes it harder. Knowing what to expect and knowing what is normal is helpful in managing anxiety in situations like this for me and the fact I wasn't properly informed in all this beforehand by professionals is extremely frustrating. Plus I had plans to do other things with the money and time I've been spending on these damn things. I was just fine(physically) before I started all this and now I can't eat or talk right and I never felt like it needed to be done(which isn't true but I'm getting to that). I never was able to eat 'normally' though my teeth have been so crooked and stuff got stuck in a hole between a baby tooth that never came out and the tooth that is currently trying to be moved back into place so that part of it shouldn't really bother me as much but it still does. The anxiety leading up to a othro appointment has become such an event for me not sure how long before I will start having attacks before going to the orthodontist. Just a few things at the moment on my mind. I thankfully don't have an appointment till the wednesday after my vacation. Anyway sorry for complaining again but nice to know I'm not alone in this and my complaining. Thank you for your post and sharing your story it was helpful.

Crazy4Snow= I've actually read your blog and post here and please don't take this the wrong way but they have scared me slightly mostly because you seem so much farther along than me with results and are having such a hard time still. I wish I were better at taking pictures but looking into my mouth makes me want to cry with my extractions(my teeth are so pretty though and people wonder why I'm so upset I had to extract some they seemed just fine to me). I do have some before pictures somewhere but none of my progress. Maybe if I get some courage like you I'll see what I can do. Your images and others have been one of the few things getting me through though my particular case seems very different than most on here I can't even tell you besides crowding of course what my treatment is for but I'll do my best to try. I'm already aware of the adjustments being painful pretty much anytime the wire is tweaked or replaced it's gonna hurt. I'm just frustrated that my orthodontist is an idiot when it comes to pain and thinks it's not that bad(he keeps telling me to not use painkillers now I'm wish I were kidding). Thanks for letting me know it gets better it means alot coming from you. Thanks for posting your progress and blog it's indeed helpful.


Also Update: Powerchain on 'roof of mouth' tooth feels like it's not doing anything now and I really only had pain the first day unlike the braces which took a week for the pain to be managable. It must be doing something though because biting it when not wearing my appliance is more noticible than usual but not sure if the powerchain is the reason. The Chain it's self made a nice 'cage' between that and the wire over my extraction site there eating strawberries cut up into small pieces was interesting. I won't be getting bottom braces till that tooth moves far enough into place the wire can reach it and start pulling it in. By some miracle that molar that was hurting that he stretched the chain on no longer is bothering me but my other molar on the right now is but not as bad. Orthodontist doesn't seem to know why it was hurting(so helpful) couldn't even tell me if it was normal.

Appliance I've been told to wear 'as often as possible' Not very comfortable but almost impossible to talk with while in so I can't wear it while working or eating. I discovered it puts a lot of pressure on some of my teeth and then when I do eat those teeth hurt but I've gotten to the point that complaining to my othrodontist about pain is useless so I've just been dealing with that. I haven't had to take many painkillers except for my usual sinus headaches which has been nice and I don't have another appointment till after my vacation.

I'm still liking my choice of ceramic brackets for my front teeth. The ligatures do stain but no worse than my teeth did so I can deal with that. Flossing is impossible, my teeth are so crowded still and with the wire I just keep thinking 'really? I'm suppose to get string through there?' Oh yeah and the banded teeth destroy floss so haven't done to well with them either. I've noticed as the pain goes away I can use my front teeth again but still only for really soft food. I ate a PB&J with white bread and was so happy that when I went to use my front teeth I forgot I had braces till after I bit into it and felt no pain and nothing really got stuck either. I even ate a microwave pizza that I burnt. So it seems if I'm careful cut everything small enough I can eat whatever I want once the pain goes away. Still trying to avoid nuts though. This is a big deal because this means I do know I can do this if I keep trying and that the pain really is temporary. I'm still gonna lose it on a regular basis like I have but its not always bad. I just wish the rest of my life were easier too but it seems this on top of my overly stressed life right now has made this that much harder to manage. Thank you all for the support and understanding words and I'll try to keep you all updated.

looking at this positively is rare but it does happen. Just wish I could justify the cost and amount of time and gas to get to and from the ortho office for stuff and until I see results I doubt I will. That tooth in the roof of my mouth moving into place will be a big milestone when it happens though. Not looking forward to getting bottom braces at some point though.

[noveldevice]

I hope things are going better for you now that you're another month or so in.

My braces hurt unbearably for six months, and I had extractions before that, so I was in pain for about eight months. It's only in the past two months that I've been able to eat normally again and that pain has been unusual rather than a constant state.

The two things that helped me more than anything else through the really bad bits were drinking a lot and going to the gym. At the beginning of a workout stuff would throb unpleasantly, but the endorphins from working out usually calmed down any pain and lasted for several hours. For quite a while there I was mainly going to the gym at night and then drinking a couple of beers so I could fall asleep without my mouth keeping me up.

To some extent, having committed, you are just stuck, and you have to keep going. Turning back is not an option. The first several months are the worst and you just have to get through it however you can. I used rum. Whatever works.

Also, re your hyperbolic message up top: you don't really want to get into a Horrible Stuff Olympics on here. There are people on here, I daresay, who have had it much worse than you, and you don't really make yourself look that good by trying it on.

[sibilla]

I have to agree with Catgyrl I'm afraid. At 27 you are still very young - spare a thought for those of us (me included) in our 50s taking this huge step. Braces have never been sold as an easy option - easy would be implants. It really is no pain, no gain. I've had my top brace on for almost three weeks now and I can honestly say today is the first day I haven't woken up feeling acutely aware of it. I know it's there but it's very much in the background, so it's not all pain and discomfort. Believe me - and everyone else offering support on this forum - the discomfort lasts a very short time and what's a short time compared to the years ahead of you with a beautiful smile? Try to see the positive in what you are doing -and if you really are so very unhappy with it all, why not stop the treatment? It does sound as if you're not quite ready in yourself for all this. If your fiance made the appointment for you because he knew you wouldn't, that, to me, speaks volumes. Braces are a very personal thing and something to be tackled when you are 100% sure you can cope with the inconvience and discomfort. This forum is a godsend and full of incredibly useful advice, support and encouragement from people who have made and are making the journey. The wealth of information here is invaluable in helping people make a choice as to whether to make the jump but the motivation for wanting to do it really has to be yours not someone elses..

I do hope you can begin to see the bright side soon.

[Hopefulsmile84]

I really wanted to post an update but since everyone that has responded seems to look at whatever I say in such a bad way it's probably not worth it. After having probably the worst orthodontic appointment yet I no longer can accept everyone's assesement that it gets easier. It sure as hell doesn't. Maybe more tolerable but sure not easier or less painful. Seriously I've come to the conclusion that orthodontic treatment is the most tortures thing I've ever done to myself and I don't see how it will be worth it in the end.

Thanks for being insensitive and judgmental.

Saying stuff like 'people have it so much worse than you' or 'you have your whole life ahead of you' is extremely insensitive. I also like how I'm suppose to end the treatment because I hate it so much. If I had a 'choice' to begin with I would have at this point. Pulling teeth is a irreversible thing I either continue the torture or enjoy 3 crowns and a bridge possibly along with the crowding still there. I was doing this for my health not my looks and I hate how people stick looks on this. I don't honestly want perfectly straight teeth but I was told by my dentist I would lose teeth with the way they were(then I lost four in the process anyway so it's hard to justify that decision now to me). So the thought of holes in my mouth is the only thing keeping me going at this point and always was. I and everyone that encouraged me to get them didn't mention the pain that this is causing me and no one really seems to care. I really doubt I can look back at this experience thinking I did the right thing. I hope at some point that changes but my hopes are not very high.

It's also extremely impossible to clean my teeth with them like this and I honestly barely have time to sleep let alone clean my teeth as often as some people on here do.

Thank you to all those that did show some support without being judgmental. I was just looking for a empathic ear not a lesson on how I should be thinking.

I did learn recently that not thinking about it is my best option. The more I obsess the worse I feel. Unfortunately life does not allow that luxury at home. Plus after my last appointment apparently I can look forward to tortures I never thought possible. Who knew ligatures being changed could hurt that much, no way is this worth it if I get to look forward to that every time I visit the ortho it's eventually going to get to the point I may refuse to go due to anxiety and fear of pain. I can understand if I had a horrible disease that needed painful treatment but this is just to straighten teeth for god sake. I was just fine before I started treatment now I feel I made the biggest mistake of my life.

I'm glad so many can get such a positive experience out of this I just can't. I can't eat, keep my teeth clean, or sleep when I get new powerchains which apparently are never ending due to the extractions I had to get and what not. Oh and I only have upper braces on, seriously how does this not get worse? Never in my life had I wanted to cry after leaving a professionals office I about ripped the guys hand out of my mouth.

I don't know I probably won't be back here since I don't belong. Pessimistic attitudes towards braces is apparently not accepted to well here.

Here's to hoping I eventually see the brighter side but since it really does get worse I doubt I can.

If some are nice I might share what brought me to this point but I just don't care right now.

Good luck to you all.

[Hopefulsmile84]

Also, re your hyperbolic message up top: you don't really want to get into a Horrible Stuff Olympics on here. There are people on here, I daresay, who have had it much worse than you, and you don't really make yourself look that good by trying it on.

Just so you know that's an extremely insensitive and judgmental comment to make to anyone let alone someone you don't know. Yes I'm very aware there are others worse off than me and I know plenty of examples. I only used that to make a point that making judgement calls to people you don't know is very wrong and why.

Also the beginning of your statement there sounds like a threat. If you want me to leave you got your wish enjoy.

[noveldevice]

Oh, please.