So Embarrassed!
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So Embarrassed!
I had bottom braces put on about a year ago at age 46. I was told by the dentist that I would just need bottom ones because some of the teeth need to be straightened or they will ruin the top teeth. I had braces as a kid, but didn't wear the retainers like I should have afterwards and some of the back teeth have shifted and the bite is off also. The orthodontist has been pressuring me for a while to put some on the top to fix everything and make my bite right. I finally had the top brackets put on about a month ago. He told me it would take 6 months, but I'll believe that when I see it. I have the clear ceramic ones with a silver wire through them. Sometimes I wish I never started this and can't even believe I have braces at this age. I am soooo embarassed, especially at work. I find I'm avoiding people so I don't have to talk to them. I know I need to get over this. I made this decision and have to live with it and shouldn't care what anyone thinks, but it is really hard. Someone said to me the other day, "What's wrong with your mouth, do you have something in it?" Sometimes it's hard to talk, when the braces stick to the side of your mouth. I just said no and walked away. I know I'm acting really stupid about this and would appreciate any advice from other people who've dealt with this. Thanks.
Re: So Embarrassed!
sorry to hear you're having trouble. I'm yet to be braced so don't really know how it feels yet, but I will offer some thoughts on the subject. The more you try and
hide your braces, the more obvious it will be that there's something going on in there, if you just try and act normally people are only going to notice them if they're really close to you. Even if they should notice them, what of it? You're an adult that has decided that you'd like to do this thing for yourself, most people will admire you for having the courage to do it. Just try and imagine how good you will feel when they come off and you have beautiful teeth?
I know that when I see someone with braces I don't think anything of it, especially not bad things
I hope you start feeling better soon.
hide your braces, the more obvious it will be that there's something going on in there, if you just try and act normally people are only going to notice them if they're really close to you. Even if they should notice them, what of it? You're an adult that has decided that you'd like to do this thing for yourself, most people will admire you for having the courage to do it. Just try and imagine how good you will feel when they come off and you have beautiful teeth?
I know that when I see someone with braces I don't think anything of it, especially not bad things
I hope you start feeling better soon.
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Re: So Embarrassed!
Hi Brits,
I've certainly had my share of embarrassment being 40 (ish) with braces. I've finally realized that people really don't care. You may get an odd comment here or there, but for the most part folks will either not notice at all, or they'll notice, comment and then move on. Seriously, you're doing this for you. Try not to worry about what other people think or say about it. And you're lucky! Six months is nothing! Take it from someone going on month 29!! Good luck!
UC
I've certainly had my share of embarrassment being 40 (ish) with braces. I've finally realized that people really don't care. You may get an odd comment here or there, but for the most part folks will either not notice at all, or they'll notice, comment and then move on. Seriously, you're doing this for you. Try not to worry about what other people think or say about it. And you're lucky! Six months is nothing! Take it from someone going on month 29!! Good luck!
UC
Re: So Embarrassed!
Hi--
I am so sorry you are having such a tough time..I am 55 and just had all Damon Q all metal put on almost a month ago.
I knew I really wouldn't be embarrased, but I really didn't know what people would think or say. What I am finding that surprises me is that teens and kids aren't phased by me being in braces at all--besides most of them have or have had braces, and see the older ones in the ortho office all the time...they are used to it. The other thing is that, well, that's just it, every time I go into the ortho office there are more adults than kids. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I know it's hard--but smile, just keep smiling. You will get used to it.. I promise. What they will find is that you have braces--you are doing something about your teeth. When you see a person your age looking at you weird, well, just look at their teeth....uhhh, You win!!
The thing is--you can't hide your teeth for the next several months from the people closest to you. By trying to hide your braces, you are uncomfortable and so are your friends. They don't want to ask you about your braces or talk to you about them if they sense you are embarrased. Just smile and talk about them for pete's sake. Exercise your confidence. People want to talk about it--they will probably talk about when they had braces, or that they wish they could have, or that they are going to think about it too. They may ask you why you got them now. Better late than never. I want to look my best. I just decided to do something I've always wanted to. I figure if the kids can do it I can. I want my teeth to look great as I get older. My husband thinks it's cool (actually, mine does!). I'm not really enjoying them, but in 2yrs (for me anyway), I am still going to be 2yrs older whether or not I have straight teeth--I choose straight teeth!! Besides, even 2yrs is a really short time in the scheme of life. Just tell them why you got braces. The bottom line--they are only thinking about themselves. They will probably think you are really brave, and wish they could be more like you.
I called my best friend this past weekend. We have been friends since junior high, but live in different cities, and are busy, so we talk on the phone sporadically mostly. Well, I had no idea what she would say. I told her, and she shocked me by saying she is going to do the same thing!! Not because she ever really needed braces, but she has a ONE tooth that has rotated and hates the way it feels in her mouth!
What I have heard is that our generation is deciding to save our teeth instead of the older generation which had the mindset of just getting dentures later.
Ok so here's what I also told my friend-I think it makes me look more interesting--and I love that. She had never thought of that.
Personally, I am convinced that we are on the brink of what is going to soon be the norm. People our age choosing to get their teeth fixed over dentures..it only makes sense. Just as it sort of is a fashion statement for the teens--I think it will be for us eventually too--but then it will be too late for you because your teeth will already be fantastic!!!!
Google-"I want braces sooo bad" and look what you see--every age of people blogging that they wish they could afford braces.
It is not as uncool as you think!!! Believe me!!!
I am so sorry you are having such a tough time..I am 55 and just had all Damon Q all metal put on almost a month ago.
I knew I really wouldn't be embarrased, but I really didn't know what people would think or say. What I am finding that surprises me is that teens and kids aren't phased by me being in braces at all--besides most of them have or have had braces, and see the older ones in the ortho office all the time...they are used to it. The other thing is that, well, that's just it, every time I go into the ortho office there are more adults than kids. EVERY SINGLE TIME!
I know it's hard--but smile, just keep smiling. You will get used to it.. I promise. What they will find is that you have braces--you are doing something about your teeth. When you see a person your age looking at you weird, well, just look at their teeth....uhhh, You win!!
The thing is--you can't hide your teeth for the next several months from the people closest to you. By trying to hide your braces, you are uncomfortable and so are your friends. They don't want to ask you about your braces or talk to you about them if they sense you are embarrased. Just smile and talk about them for pete's sake. Exercise your confidence. People want to talk about it--they will probably talk about when they had braces, or that they wish they could have, or that they are going to think about it too. They may ask you why you got them now. Better late than never. I want to look my best. I just decided to do something I've always wanted to. I figure if the kids can do it I can. I want my teeth to look great as I get older. My husband thinks it's cool (actually, mine does!). I'm not really enjoying them, but in 2yrs (for me anyway), I am still going to be 2yrs older whether or not I have straight teeth--I choose straight teeth!! Besides, even 2yrs is a really short time in the scheme of life. Just tell them why you got braces. The bottom line--they are only thinking about themselves. They will probably think you are really brave, and wish they could be more like you.
I called my best friend this past weekend. We have been friends since junior high, but live in different cities, and are busy, so we talk on the phone sporadically mostly. Well, I had no idea what she would say. I told her, and she shocked me by saying she is going to do the same thing!! Not because she ever really needed braces, but she has a ONE tooth that has rotated and hates the way it feels in her mouth!
What I have heard is that our generation is deciding to save our teeth instead of the older generation which had the mindset of just getting dentures later.
Ok so here's what I also told my friend-I think it makes me look more interesting--and I love that. She had never thought of that.
Personally, I am convinced that we are on the brink of what is going to soon be the norm. People our age choosing to get their teeth fixed over dentures..it only makes sense. Just as it sort of is a fashion statement for the teens--I think it will be for us eventually too--but then it will be too late for you because your teeth will already be fantastic!!!!
Google-"I want braces sooo bad" and look what you see--every age of people blogging that they wish they could afford braces.
It is not as uncool as you think!!! Believe me!!!
Re: So Embarrassed!
I know exactly how you are feeling, i felt exactly the same for the first 3 months, i'm in my 5th month and am only now becoming adjusted. It is a weird feeling when you have them newly put in, especially at the top. I also find that the ceramic brackets seem a little bulky so I feel extra conscious of them. But because we can feel they are there, it SEEMS as though they really stick out and that everyone is staring. The more you worry about it the more attention you will draw to yourself. I work as a receptionist and trying to be confident and greet clients with a set of braces is not easy, especially as an adult you feel a bit odd having them. It is getting alot more common and socially acceptable though. These days people know that braces result in amazing teeth at the end, and in a society that places so much value on appearance, it is a good investment. I actually find that people are telling me they are proud of me and wish they could do the same but they can't take the plunge. i also was told that i look better when i act normal and smile normal rather than trying to hide them because that just makes your mouth look strange. I spent some time in front of a mirror and tried to smile and hide them and yes it does look weird. If you find that your lips/gums are getting stuck then use the wax they give you, i use a little every day on the offending brackets to smooth them over and its so much easier to smile!
Re: So Embarrassed!
Thank you guys so much for responding to my post. I really appreciate it. It really helps talking to other people going through the same thing. I know the orthodontist told me 6 months, but I have a feeling it will end up being much longer. Maybe what you said Melody is the problem. The ceramic ones do seem a little bulky and my top lip seems to get stuck to them sometimes. Luckily my husband is really supportive and tells me I'm just being a drama queen and just to try and think about when I'm done how happy I'll be and how nice my teeth will look. I know you are all right about me making it more obvious trying to hide them. I guess I will just have to work on it and try not to care what anyone thinks!
Re: So Embarrassed!
Hi Brits,
So glad I came across your post! I just got braces and know exactly what you mean and what you are feeling. I am 47 and have metal upper and lowers on for the next 24 months!!! The decision to get braced was hard enough, but I know it was the right one as you also know too.
My first day at the office with my new shiny metal braces was last Friday and I found myself walking around with a piece of paper so that when I talked I covered my mouth with the paper. I did not think I would be so embarrassed but I believe it is natural. As the day wore on and I saw different people, I tired of explaining why and how I got here.... And I stopped covering my mouth, once people see it, once or twice the novelty wears off ....
It will take some time but I know it will get better. I've only seen about 40 percent of my coworkers, so I'll have to deal with more first time reactions and questions next week... but WE just have to remember why we are doing this.
Your six months will go by fast. You know how fast Christmas come around!!!! This forum is great because we all share a Braceship ( so corny but you know what I mean). My hubby is great and encouraged to start my journey but he doesn't really want hear all my 1000 daily thoughts about my new obsession.
Proudly flash your brackets, so many wish they could have them. I also realized that some people feel self conscious about their own teeth when they see that you are fixing yours. So when they are staring at your teeth/braces stare right back and check out their teeth!!!! It's amazing when they realize you are looking at their teeth and they are not perfect how fast they stop staring!!!!
Keep in touch, we are here for each other.
nettie
So glad I came across your post! I just got braces and know exactly what you mean and what you are feeling. I am 47 and have metal upper and lowers on for the next 24 months!!! The decision to get braced was hard enough, but I know it was the right one as you also know too.
My first day at the office with my new shiny metal braces was last Friday and I found myself walking around with a piece of paper so that when I talked I covered my mouth with the paper. I did not think I would be so embarrassed but I believe it is natural. As the day wore on and I saw different people, I tired of explaining why and how I got here.... And I stopped covering my mouth, once people see it, once or twice the novelty wears off ....
It will take some time but I know it will get better. I've only seen about 40 percent of my coworkers, so I'll have to deal with more first time reactions and questions next week... but WE just have to remember why we are doing this.
Your six months will go by fast. You know how fast Christmas come around!!!! This forum is great because we all share a Braceship ( so corny but you know what I mean). My hubby is great and encouraged to start my journey but he doesn't really want hear all my 1000 daily thoughts about my new obsession.
Proudly flash your brackets, so many wish they could have them. I also realized that some people feel self conscious about their own teeth when they see that you are fixing yours. So when they are staring at your teeth/braces stare right back and check out their teeth!!!! It's amazing when they realize you are looking at their teeth and they are not perfect how fast they stop staring!!!!
Keep in touch, we are here for each other.
nettie
Re: So Embarrassed!
It's hard to not feel self conscious, but mainly when I go to the orthodontist's. I've been the only adult patient in the waiting room -- the other adults are parents waiting for their kids.
I know what Nettie means. I find that since having braces I'm actually looking at other people's teeth and noticing that theirs aren't perfect either. It's strange because I never really paid attention beforehand.
Today I went shopping and noticed two other adults with braces, so I smiled back at them. Whenever I feel self conscious I remind myself that each day my teeth are another step closer to being straight!
I know what Nettie means. I find that since having braces I'm actually looking at other people's teeth and noticing that theirs aren't perfect either. It's strange because I never really paid attention beforehand.
Today I went shopping and noticed two other adults with braces, so I smiled back at them. Whenever I feel self conscious I remind myself that each day my teeth are another step closer to being straight!
Re: So Embarrassed!
Hi Brits. You got some good responses here. I'm starting out in the same boat as you. I will get bottom only metal Damons in 4 days. I asked the dentist if he felt I may need uppers too later as my bite rearranges, and he didn't think so, but couldn't rule it out. I've been ruminating over this since he said it. Bottoms are one thing...easy to hide. But tops change the whole game. Since I've already been thinking about this possibility, I'm almost resolved to the idea. I figure if my coworkers figure out I'm wearing bottom braces for 6-9 months, suddenly showing up with uppers is no big deal. My teeth look straight so even I'd be shocked to get uppers -- I'm 47!!
Re: So Embarrassed!
Hi, It's so great to read these posts, especially other 47 year olds like myself! I'm so glad to have found this board and read other peoples stories and what they are going through, too. Like you Nettie, I have a hard time at work. I find myself avoiding people. Also, my husband has been great and supportive, but he's probably getting tired of listening to me, too. It's funny, some days, I'm ok with it and then other days, I am kind of freaked out that I have braces at this age! lol Sounds stupid, I know. I am hoping it will only be 6 months, but I really feel it will end up being longer. I've also been avoiding some social things I've been invited to, but I know I can't keep that up forever, especially if it goes longer than the 6 months. I'm also finding going out to eat is not as easy as it use to be with the braces. It's kind of a pain having to go into the ladies room to brush your teeth and hope no one is in there!