Can I do it?

[EbonyQ]

My vacation just got extended!

Boss don´t want to influence Eric´s treatment and this break was therefore supposed to just last till today but when he was on his way to pick me up the anxiety was back again. Tears and everything. He did not like the thought of messing with Eric´s placement of the brackets which he would have to if the teeth moved a little, that´s why the break was this short.

I therefor had to write to Eric to ask him if it was ok that we waited at least till next weekend. After having this constant anxiety for over 1,5 year I though I deserved at least a weeks break. These two days without upper braces has been a blessing, very little anxiety and I have managed to focus on other things.

Eric agreed that I deserved a break and to be able to relax, and did not think it would harm the treatment at all if we waited a few weeks before bonding the brackets on again. If boss wanted to do this bonding that was ok.

So my break went from 2-3 days to “a few weeks”. We will make an Essix at work next week.

I will answer all of you who have reply above this post later! I just wanted to share my joy of the extended vacation!

[jem]

Hello Eb,

Glad to hear you are enjoying your holiday-please send me a postcard!

Jem

PS your smile looks great

[EbonyQ]

Next month I have so much to do after work that I needed to know the date for my next appointment. When I wrote this to Eric I also, without thinking too much, suggested that maybe we could take an appointment together at this the dental phobia clinic, I know Eric have wanted this for a very long time. That I get an appointment on a Tuesday when he works in the same building as this clinic and can just swip his head around the corner to get to us.

Explained that after I have had an appointment with him and discussed pros and cons with getting the uppers back on again, we could have an appointment with this dental phobia clinic together if we decided to go ahead with the uppers again. If I did not get them on again then there would not be any point at having an appointment with this clinic.

He knows that getting these braces on again is not going to be easy, and they might not even get back on again at all. I´m very happy with hos they look and don´t mind the deep bite, scissor bite etc, but Eric wants me to have the best possible bite. Don´t know if it´s because of his training or that he just wants be to experience how it is to have a good bite, maybe both, I don´t know.

Anyway, you would thought that after over 1,5 years that he would have lost some interest in my phobia and treatment, getting a little tired of how much energy and extra times it all coasts him. And it does not help that I keep saying that I´m done, let´s take these off and blah blah blah.

Today when I called to get my next appointment (which I thought would be in 3-4 weeks time) and while talking to his assistant Eric grabbed the phone (he very rely speaks on the phone when he is working so I got vey surprised! ) and said that he would try to fit me in on Monday or Wednesday next week. His voice was so energetic, like we just had started the treatment and had the whole world in front of us. “When do you have your next appointment at this clinic? next Tuesday? Or the week after that?” and blah blah blah. “I wil ltry to fit you in next week”

Why the stress, what about my “few weeks vacation”? And we were not supposed to have an appointment at this dental phoba clinic before we had agreed on the faith for the uppers. I guess someone was a bit eager to get started again!

This is one thing I have to consider, how much time Eric have spent on this treatment and how much he wants to finish this. Why did I get this dedicated ortho who just wants to continue no matter what?
It had been so much easier to quit if he was not so motivated to finish this treatment (now I will feel a bit guilty if I quit), I guess that´s part of the package when you get a super orho like Eric


On the other note, I really enjoy not having the uppers. It´s a blessing!

[klobird]

OK Eb--someone's got to say it.....I don't know any ortho in the world EXCEPT ERIC who would give their patient a break from their braces!! He's probably taking psychology classes just for you--it's called "How to keep Ebony in braces 101". (Are you sure he's not got the hots for you?)

Your teeth look great! It would be so hard to go back into braces. So, what does Eric say would be the consequences of ending treatment now--like how would your teeth end up when you are my age.....because believe it or not, that day WILL come. You don't want to end up losing teeth and having to get implants etc.....

[EbonyQ]

Klobird:

Hahahahaha, yes, I´m sure Eric does not have the hots for me. He never ask me about my private life, and therefore don´t know if I´m married, single, have kinds, and so on. He knows some of my hobbies but that is because I have mentioned them. He only knows things about me that I tell him myself, or else he does not show any interest in my private life.

So I think he is genuinely just trying to help. He wants me to write an email or two if there is anything, if I do anything with my braces between appointments, if I have any worries about the treatments and so on (for me it´s a good things because when I have emailed him about what I don´t want to do I can relax and don´t need to think about it till next appointment) but he never answer them, only if it´s really really necessary. He is so slow that I could really just send them in the snail mail .


And I know Eric would not have wanted to give me a “braces break”, to remove some or my whole upper braces, because he knows that with this anxiety I have with braces that getting them back on my teeth again is not going to be easy. It´s not like I will jump in the chair and “ok, my vacation is over. let´s put them back on again”.

It was boss who took them off but when they were off and I had much less anxiety (and it came back when boss wanted to bond them back on again) Eric said they could stay off a little longer.
But I know that Eric would not have wanted them off in the first place because it´s just extra work for him. Now he needs to take the bonding phase all over again

Boss wanted me to send Eric an email before we did it, so Eric could stop us if he did not agree. I never sent that email to Eric, not before AFTER we did it, because I know Eric might have talk us out fo it. I told boss that I have written an email to Eric but that he did not answer it But when they were off it was ok for Eric I felt so evil that day, but my phobia was going crazy and I needed to get them off, or else I might have tried it myself.

I have tried to ask for a break before and he did not like that idea “When you first have them off you teeth, you will not want to get them back on again”
Oh boy was he right! My phobia is not going to let go of this freedom that easy!

[Kipepeo]

You know, Eb, I commend you for tackling this phobia. When I read your posts when you describe your anxieties, I just simply cannot relate. I'm thinking about orthodontists here in the US, and clinicians in general. I can't imagine many would have the kind of patience that both Eric and your boss have.

In reality, I bet phobias like yours are pretty common, and I would think any doctor should do whatever needed (within reason, of course) to get a patient the treatment they need, working through anxieties. But seems to me, many here would usher you out the door, and demand saying they can't help you.

Keep with it, Ebony. You'll get there, and when you do, we'll throw a big Internet party for you!

[EbonyQ]

I know... what Eric have done for me is incredible! And he keep going on and on, never wanting to stop. I have told him that I do understand if he wants to quit, to say “hey, we tried it but it was too much for both of us” but he refuses to give up. It might be a personal goal of his to managed me as a pt, I don´t know.

On the appointment I started to cry a few weeks ago Eric told me that this kind of phobia takes years to overcome, it was not something that got fixed over night. So he knows that this will take time.

We are a very good team now, Eric know how to read me. When the anxiety are speaking and when it is no.
He can tell me the same thing on each appointment several times and I refuse, telling him that we don´t need to do that or to fix that. He smiles and let go of it, letting me believe that we are don´t need to do it. At the next appointment he tells me the same, and it goes on. Eventually I get used to the idea of that specific treatment and we can try it carefully. Taking everything in small steps.

At the moment he is working on getting me to accept cross elastics to fix my scissor bite. I can´t start using them now as we are fixing something else but he is working on getting me to accept it when the time to use them is there.

Boss have not seen that much of my real anxiety other than what he saw last week, that was his first. He thought I was joking about how strong it was but no I was not . He have seen the small normal one a few times before, the "small" anxiety most pt have when they have dental fear but not the big bad wolf

When I´m done, no matter if I managed to finish the treatment or not, I have to give Eric something special for what he has done . There is not many orthos our there who would have kept me as a pt after this long.

Thanks Kipepeo! I´m sure I would love that internet party!

[klobird]

OOOOHHHH EB!!! YOU ARE AN EVIL LITTLE THING!!!!

Wow--you worked that one!!! Are you going to get them back on? You better---or I'm coming to Norway to talk to Eric!!! And your boss!!!!! AND YOU!!!

---I forgot to add---

[BracedSurgeryStudent]

You have an amazing orthodontist it's all I can say, when it's all done with you should get him some flowers.

[EbonyQ]

Sorry for my late respond guyd but a lot has happened since my last appointment.

Boss attended my last appointment with Eric, he wanted to join when I asked him. I thought it could be a wise thing to do, to let Eric and boss talk. And they really did talk, not about my treatment as I thought they would but about general ortho stuff . They were so eager in their conversation that I was almost forgotten, which I found very funny. It was a good thing, boss was a bit worried about what Eric thought of the debonding (even though I told him one zillion times that Eric was ok with it).

We will not bond the upper back on again for a while, it might not even happen at all. Those at the dental phobia clinic thought that it might be best to just do one jaw at the time.
I´m happy with how the uppers look and can live with it, so for me there is not much rush at getting them back on.

The reason why my update is so short and it took this long time is because somebody killed my rabbit named Zora a week ago, and somehow this murder got the medias attention (even outside of Norway!). I did not want any media but they found this very interesting. An animal right organization has offered $1730 to the person who can help solve this murder!
I wanted to keep it away from media but people really wanted to help and to get their hands on the person who did this. It has been crazy...

She was my “child” and it has been some hard days, I will miss her deeply. Her rabbit friend Lucy is sitting on her grave for hours each day, just sitting there in her own thoughts (she does not even notice us when we are going past her).

A picture of Zora (red) and Lucy:

[klobird]

Eb--I am soooo sorry--that must hurt terribly. I don't understand how a human could be so incredibly cruel--to Zora and to you...

I really hope they find the coward who did this...

[Kipepeo]

Ebony, I too am so sorry about Zora. That is just awful. I hope they find out who did it, and justice is served. I know that won't bring her back. Hugs to you.

[TMJJill]

Ebony,

I'm so sorry to hear about Zora. I know how much your rabbits mean to you. I've loved that you have shared them with us over the last year. I hope they catch whoever did this.

It is great your boss came to your appointment. What a support team you have around you!!

I'm glad you aren't giving up on your orthodontic treatment all together. If you look back at your story on here, you really have come a long long way.

[jem]

Hi Eb,

Apologies that I have not caught up with you for a while. I was sorry to hear of your loss, especially in such shocking circumstances.

How are your teeth doing? Do you have retainers to help you maintain that hard-won progress?

Hope you are well

Jem

[EbonyQ]

Thank you guys. There are no news about Zora.

Lucy misses her friend and we still find her on Zora´s grave:



Yesterday boss removed my last upper brackets after a request from Eric. Eric wanted to make an Essix retainer for me and let me use this summer to relax and think very deeply if I wanted to bond the uppers back on again after the summer (he is hoping that I will continue my treatment with the upper jaw too. He has still not lost faith in me, that I can do this ).


After work yesterday I visited Eric to give him this:


Which made him very happy. He has been working so much these last weeks and still have had time to work with my anxiety. It´s amazing what he has done. Eric was very glad, took a lot of pictures of it (he wanted to take pictures of it before his family started to eat it), and he could not wait to show it to his family. His daughter had her graduation yesterday and now he had a cake to celebrate this with

I forgot to take a picture of Eric and the cake! Maybe I can take a picture of Eric and me next time.