Joplin's Story (photos on page 12)

[joplin]

Here's how things are looking today.

This is my smile from yesterday. Compared to the avatar picture on the left (NOTE: the old avatar is gone since I wrote this, and the new one is the same picture shown here) the upper arch looks wider now, but the rotated laterals are still in the center of attention, of course:


This is how it looks from the left. The sharp bicuspid looks a lot like a canine. Here you can also clearly see how my front teeth are tilted in, not slightly out as they should be in a proper bite:


This is a view from the right, showing the less caninish bicuspid there:


I'm still not proud of my smile, but we're taking baby steps here...

Again sorry about the bad quality of the photos, I'm not very good at Photoshopping.
Oh, and I swear my teeth are not that yellow in real life, it's the artificial light I took the photos in!

[Dodger(UK)]

Great stuff - You're making great progress, Joplin.

It won't take long having ortho treatment, for them rotated laterals to be brought into line.

[joplin]

Thanks, Dodger. That's the positive side about taking the route of removing the canines: the orthodontic part will be a lot faster if/when we don't have to wait for the 1½ - 2 years for the canines to slowly come down. Without them in the way those laterals shouldn't take long to get straightened, and the rest, I think, is about readjusting the bite. Let's just hope and pray the laterals' roots will be OK after the canine removal! They are quite a mess. My worst nightmare is that I will not only lose the canines but the laterals too if they can't take losing their neighbors' support in there

Also there will still be a chance that I will have to give away my lower second bicuspids, but my ortho promised to try and see if she could find a solution to save them. If it proves to be impossible to build a functional bite with them in, she will give them an extraction sentence. I'm glad she's willing to give them a chance anyway.

[Clo]

Hi Joplin,

great profile pictures.
Indeed, your first bicuspids have a really good cuspid look.
If I would not have known your real issues, I would never have guessed
these are not your real canines.
So, if you are to loose your real canines, this would not be that bad.
Lining up front teeth (untilting and rotate) will cause a very dramatic
improvement. I am sure all will be fine one day .

[joplin]

Today I had my canines x-rayed from every possible angle. I sat in a chair while a buzzing and beeping machine hovered all over my face, on and off for almost an hour. The sounds it made make me feel like I was in space craft just about to dock on the mother ship or something. I'm afraid I've got so much radiation that I will glow in the dark tonight
Now we have a load of digital close up x-rays of my canines. Those should give my OS much needed information about how to proceed with them. I'm so glad he wants to get all the possible information about them before making any crucial moves. Makes me feel a little safer about the whole scenario.

Based on a short conversation with the radiologist after the pictures where taken:

The good news is both canines are situated on the front side of my mouth and are in a straight up position. It means it will probably be easier for the OS (and to me as a patient) to dig them out when he won't have to go in from the palate side. My poor palate has seen hard times enough!
Also they seem to have not caused any bad problems to my laterals' roots. Those roots are bent somewhat but appear to be otherwise intact, said the doc.

The bad news is they probably will have to be dug out. The right one appears to be partially ancylosed = fused to the bone. There goes the option of trying to bring them down.
Well, this should make decisionmaking easier when there's only one option left.

Anyway, these are not the final words yet. The radiologist needs to study those pictures through properly and then give his statement to my OS, who will then study the statement and the pictures and make a suggestion of what we shall do. That I will hear later in March.
With any luck I'll get braced for summer, but it still seems such a long way to go before we'll get that far with the process!

[EyeSpy21]

Good news, Joplin, that your laterals seem to be relatively unaffected. And in a way it's good news that they can now tell you what is necessary. The fewer decisions you have to make, the less you have to worry about them being the right decisions!

Still not sure about all the digging under local anaesthetic though...!

[joplin]

Well, if they can put me on such knock out drugs that I won't care about what's going on, I think I'm for it.
It's the general anaesthesia that I don't feel comfortable about. They always repeat the mantra "there are always risks involved in general anaesthesia" and they never go on with the sentence. What kind of risks, huh? The last time I asked the anaesthesiologist's answer was "complications are very rare, never happened during my career". Is that supposed to be an answer?
One person I talked to at the Orthognatic Surgery Support Group had her vocal cords paralyzed by the breathing tube they stick down your nose for the surgery. Now she's facing a surgery to get that problem fixed. I know that has to be rare to happen, but I really don't want to volunteer for any extra mess besides the one I'm already in.

If the OS says he would rather put me to sleep for the surgery to play it safe with the procedure itself, I will agree, of course. I would not want to think that I can risk something myself: if I move my head at the wrong moment the drill slips and something irreversible happens...

[joplin]

This is just a venting post, and a long one. I'm mainly writing this to myself, to get it off my chest.

I'm obsessed about canines now. Not just mine but other people's too. A moment ago I just briefly talked to a person I've never met before and I swear the only thing I noticed about him was his really sharp canines. Man they were sharp! I kept staring at them. Gee, the guy has canines. Everybody seems to have them. Why not me? Canines are so cool, I wish I had them!
Yeah, most people probably never give their cuspids a second thought. I can't stop thinking about them! Is it just because I know I can't have them I make them such a big issue? I know how manic this must sound.

OK. Here it comes.

There is this one childhood memory haunting me behind all this. I don't remember what age I was when my school dentist said "we need to pull two of your teeth out to make room for two that otherwise won't fit in".
I was a child with a terrible fear of dentists - and this one in particular, he was a scary man, ask anyone he has treated. I also had had most of my baby teeth pulled by him because they would not come off in due time, so I had had quite a few unpleasent moments with him before.
I was alone at the appointment, no parents with me or any adult for that matter. Just me, the Big Bad Dentist and his cranky assistant. The only thing I heard was "pull out teeth" and I freaked out and said "no!". The dentist immediately turned to his assistant and said: "Write down that patient XX does not want to be treated". That must still stand there in my records, protecting the dentist from any later complaints from the adult me...

He never called my parents. He never explained what not pulling the teeth out would lead to. He got frustrated about a child's refusal and buried the issue for good. The matter was never discussed again.
I was a 26 years old university student when I learned what that "no" had caused to happen. I found out there really were two teeth that never came down and I was in a very complicated place with them. It was like I had been hit in the head with a hammer.
From that day it took another 8 years until I had any courage to do something about the situation. And here we are. Obsessed about canines.

It must have been a very strong experience, that childhood day at the dentist's, because I remember it so clearly. And now I hate remembering it. I wish I didn't. Because now I constantly blame myself for that "no".
I do realize the dentist should have put more effort in treating me, he should have contacted my parents or sent me off to another expert or whatever, I know I was just a child with no means to understand the consequences of my instant reaction, I was scared and the dentist was an angry man everone was terrified of. But I said no. It came out of my own mouth. I really refused, all by myself. There was this momentary chance when I could have directed my fate to a totally different direction with one word only, with a nod of my head. By saying "OK" instead of "no" that day I might be one of those people who never give a secont thought to their teeth. I did this to myself, but if I had known better, I would have chosen differently.

It's useless to beat oneself up with such thoughts, right. But how do you make that quilt go away? How do you erase such a memory? Like I said, it's haunting me. I shrink back to that scared little girl in that angry dentist's chair every once in a while. And I get angry at myself. I would have those canines now if I had let the dentist do his job....
It does not take much of everyman psychology to explain why I still have issues with dental professionals & trust.

OK, that's what's eating me. Thank you for letting me spill it out.

[Eleni]

I know you wrote to vent, and this is definetly the place! But I couldnt let this go, so please forgive me my response. It is in no way meant to hurt you.


What!?! STOP THAT RIGHT THIS MINUTE! How dare you! Yes, that's right. How dare you blame that little girl for doing the most natural thing in the world when faced with the fear of pain? She said no. It was instinct and human nature.

If you are going to play the game of blame for this situation, then get pen and paper handy for the long list of people and turn of events that didn’t alter you off this path. Pin a star on that dentist, and every dentist thereafter, you parents and your adult self. Don’t stop there, there are others I bet. Tired of blame yet?

Now, understand that you will truly never know why life brought you here....are you the soul meant to comfort or give courage to hundreds of unknowns on this board while they suffer through their own cases?...are you meant to inspire your present orthodontist with your challenge, such that in a few years he/she develops something that changes the ortho field?...is this the way you are to be brought to meet someone who will play a key role in your life?...OR is this going to teach you something about yourself that will prepare you for some future life event? All the above? None of the above? Yeah, life is complicated.

There are at least 1 million alternative reasons as to why you must go through this harrowing ordeal today, none of which does justice in blaming your younger self. If anything, that is the easiest thing to do, than to admit that maybe the adults in your life made a mistake. Why are you willing to add a new dimension of pain - physiological - to you current physical ordeal?

So STOP it! You deserve better than this! Take comfort in the adage: worry about those things that you can control, don't worry about the things that you can't and have the courage/intelligence to know the difference. And by golly you are doing something about it now! We are all so proud of you!!! You have your life ahead of you, this too shall pass.

[Dodger(UK)]

Don't blame yourself Joplin - your reaction to your old dentist telling you, that you were going to have teeth pulled, would have been a natural reaction from any child. He should have been better trained, at making your more comfortable, and at least consulted your parents. Instead too take a 'no' from a child as Carte-blanche to not go ahead with your treatment, was very poor practice on his part, and something you should not be blaming yourself for.

Eleni's right - The past is something that cannot be changed, but the future can, and your doing something about it now, to put things right.

You are right about childhood memories though, they can be very powerfull. I had a few issues with my teeth, when growing up, and it's only now that, I'm finally laying them to rest.

[Guest]

Oh Joplin, I wish I could take away your bad memory, but alas, I can't. You are obviously a very intellegent and caring person. It was right (at the time) for you to say "No". Who knows what would have happened had he pulled those two teeth, that he wanted to pull? Did he ever mention anything about braces? Seems to me that that would have been the route to go - even back then. What is important is that now, as an adult, you are making responsible decisions about your health.

My heart goes out to you, and please let the quilt go - there is no place for it, because it does not belong with you! Good luck as you progress down your journey.

[Nanski]

As a little girl back then did you know the consequences of your decision? Probably not!

Well guess what girlfriend, I'm 45 years old and if some dentist came at me right now to rip teeth out of my head and I didn't full understand why I would be yelling "NO" along with 99% of everyone else in this forum. Besides, who could have predicted he was doing the right thing all those years ago??

But you know what....you're getting it all fixed now. And that's what counts!! You have our support!! And most importantly you feel comfortable enough to vent through your fingers on this board just because and we think it's OKAY!!!! Very therapeutic thing to do....I always feel so much better venting through my fingers

Yesterday is History, Tomorrow is a mystery and today is a gift! Live it for all it's worth....

[Katypooh]

Hey Joplin, we all have regrets in our lives, (even if we know we're not to blame) The thing is, once this is all done, and you've got that beautiful smile, that memory will be just that; a memory, and you will move on.

Look to to the future, everything is going to work out isn't it? Ultimately you're going to end up with beautiful, functioning, healthy teeth!

Hang in there, and just keep venting - it keeps us sane!

And to echo what eleni said - you've certainly helped me through some things, whether its by being encouraging, or just sharing your experiences, so although I wouldn't wish your situation on anyone, I am glad you're here.

Katy

[joplin]

Thank you, everyone! You people are the sweetest, did you know?
I just came back from a vacation (Greetings from Amsterdam!) and will now take some time to let all your kind words sink in. Being away for a week took my mind off all my worries for a while, which worked like a medicine.

Hugs to all of you!!!!

[joplin]

Eleni, Dodger, Attagirl, Nanski and Katypooh,
you made me feel better, thank you. I know - and I knew as I was writing that long venting post - that there is no reason to look back in regrets, but sometimes the frustration just takes the better of poor little me when things are not happening my way and the whole process just seems to take forever until I see the first glimpse of straight teeth. It's been a year now since my first ortho's visit and no braces yet!

I'm glad I typed it all out here, though. You gave me some much needed reassurance that I'm wasting my time crawling on a Bad Memory Lane. I can't say I wouldn't go back there, but I hope I will experience the same thing Dodger did: once the bad thing is undone I can leave it behind me once and for all. I'm glad it worked out that way for you, Dodger! Trust me, I know all about being self concsious about one's teeth!

General update on the progress:

Today I had an ortho's appointment. She checked up my w-arch, but did not make any adjustments. She said the arch will stay there passive until I've got my upper braces on. Otherwise the pressure of my cheeks migh cause the newly wineded arch to relapse, she says.
I'll get my ceramic upper braces (YES, they were mentioned at last!) as soon as the lower wisdom teeth and those canines are gone. By summer, that should be. The lower ones will come in the picture some time later on. The wisdom teeth's bye-bye date is March 23rd. Nice Easter Holidays coming up, I presume... I'm gonna tell everyone that an Evil Easter Bunny took my teeth.