I Can't Wait To Get Them Off Already/Shallow Boyfriend

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#1 Post by **Teagan** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 5:58 pm

I'm nineteen years old. I'm originally from Eau Claire, Wisconsin and have lived in several places all over the midwest. I recently relocated to Winston-Salem, North Carolina and am working for a credit card company and slowly building myself a life out here. I decided (after finally getting a job with decent benefits) to talk to someone about getting braces. I have an older friend at work (in her 40s) and she is a mom with braces and I thought, "Hey, you know what? if the can do it with the social stigma that's attached to these metal contraptions, why can't I?" She recommended me to an orthodontist named Kelly Mitchell who, I found out, has amazing credentials. She graduated Magna Cum Laude from UNC-Chapel Hill (a very prestigious university) and is one of the rare doctors to pass her orthontics board with a perfect score! So imagine my excitement in meeting somebody with excellent credentials. She has a partner who recently left the military about five years ago and is very friendly, quick-thinking, and they make an amazing team. The two doctors colloborated on my case and determined my treatment plan with a free consultation.

We worked out a very sensible payment arrangement plan. In consideration that they didn't take my insurance. No interest financing but it also meant that I had to somehow come up with almost two thousand dollars in order to get treatment! This is pretty hard for a teenager to come up with, but it means a lot to take care of myself. I've needed praces since I was at least eleven. My mother claimed she didn't have the money and my smile was fine. Now, keep in mind I don't have a functional bite and the right side of my mouth doesn't even connect when I bite and there's severe crowding on the bottom! After the diagnosis with the doctors I yelled at my mom (she's still back in Wisconsin) over the phone about not giving me treatment earlier, eventually calmed down and realized that this will help me build character and I should just suck it up and take care of my own problems.

I coughed up the dough for the treatment and got braces on my upper and was ordered to do an extraction of my first molars on my lower before braces were put on. Now, that freaked the heck outta me. Pulling two teeth that are incredibly straight and are perfectly healthy? And then they also had me get a cleaning, and I hadn't seen a dentist in two years.

So I went to the dentist and was given a cleaning (no cavities! yay!) and they gave me plenty of anesthetic shots in my gums. I probably got about nine shots in my right side because I wasn't feeling it. The extraction was freaky. He gripped the tooth with some pliers and yanked on it and wiggled the pliers back and forth with a lot of force and it just ripped out. I was bleeding for the next three days profusely. I would wake up with a pool of blood in my mouth and I had to keep biting on gauze and cotton balls that I had to buy because the pads they gave me got soaked with the blood that kept gushing out.

So let's cut to the chase. My boyfriend told me he was uncomfortable with me getting braces before I got them and told he didn't know how he'd feel if I got them. So I told he was superficial as hell. And then I got them and he acted really aloof towards me...really distant and didn't act the same around me. Then he ended up acting like a complete jerk when I was staying with him in his dorm room (which is like an hour and a half away from where I live so I only got to see him like two days a week). I made him feel like a jerk for acting so shallow about some metal in my mouth that I made him cry and he said he had no idea why he was acting that way. He turned 20 a couple of weeks later and a few days before his 20th birthday he told me it was probably a good idea for us to go on a break because there's something about me that's changed?

hmm...I wonder what? He said we haven't been treating each other well lately and that we should take some time apart to evaluate things and that he was falling in love with me but something has changed and we need to figure out why we like each other again. He said he used to be really excited to see me and now he doesn't even care that much anymore and he says I'm really stressing him out when I'm around him and needs to focus on school...

And yet, he couldn't get enough of me and wanted to make out with me every chance he got before I got braces and now... he wants time apart? He even cried over them... He claims he was crying because he was really upset with himself over the way that he was acting, but I don't buy that. He said he still wants to be friends and wants to still see me, yet...I went to his birthday party a few days after we were "on a break" and he partied and got drunk and we barely talked. And then I tried to see him the following weekend and he said, "maybe it's not a good idea for you to come out here....I'm going to have pot cookies" so he'd rather get high than see me? And the weekend after that I text him that I really miss him and I want to see him and so he calls, I talk to him for like ten minutes and guess what he does? "Oh I'll call you back later" and then he called the next day and apologized and blew me off for another weekend...and now this weekend he's going to a wedding and next weekend he's going to Orlando with his mom to like Sea World and doing all this stuff with his family and that will be like five weeks apart.

So really? he wanted to be friends? Yeah, I really believe that. He's just trying to make himself feel better about himself when really he's so darn shallow and can't stand that I have braces. Well, I don't need that and I realize that there are plenty of fish in the sea, but I wish he could just be honest and tell me that he finds them unattractive and say something like, "I'm 20, I'm sorry but I find your smile unappealing...maybe when you get them off we can have something, but right now I'd prefer something without a metallic smile." and I could take that. I'm an adult, but it hurts worse when someone pretends to care and cuts your heart out.

But back to the braces! Geez, this is a long post, huh? anyway, they put the lower brackets on and only put a small amount of archwire for the front teeth because my premolars are so crooked, they're pointing inwards, that the doc had to attach a "chain" from the second molar to the premolars to get them straight so they can fit a wire in about a month. My teeth are aching...

But anyway, I needed to rant! I'll update later!

#2 Post by **Teagan** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 7:04 pm

Thank you guys for the words of encouragement!

I was laughing about the whole "kick the guy in the..." comment!

And about staying well hydrated, don't worry! I've got that action all covered! I'm drinking so many bottles of water at work it's ridiculous. I only wish I could carry that much water in me at a time...hahaha.

Oh, and I also have to say for people who don't know, Motrin is a gift from the heavens. It works wonders not only for my extractions (Dr. Bartlett said my gum tissue is healing really well), but for my sore teeth after my first adjustment. He also stated that the longest he wants the power chains on is for a month. I have to go back November 5th to add the full archwire...yikes.

You know what's funny? I work for a credit card company and I answer phone calls and I have to talk all day...do you think that was helped by the fact I have all this pain in my mouth??? NO! hahah, this is turning out to be quite an adventure!

#3 Post by **Airbraceface** » Wed Oct 10, 2007 8:08 pm

Screw him! If he can't like you for who you are then you are with the wrong person. I am sure you are a very nice person and from one girl to another no man is worth taking the comments. My ex-boyfriend told me that I was fat all of the time. It took 3 years of crappy comments to have no selfesteme. I finally broke up with him and now I am about to be engaged to the most wonderful man. Let him go! Trust me if you loose full interest in him he will begin to wonder if its him and not your braces. I would just ditch him on the side of the road. It will be hard but in the end it will be the best decision of your life... and so are you braces! Let me know how it goes.

#4 Post by **Teagan** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:20 am

Thank you airbraceface! I'm sorry to hear about what you went through. But I guess it's needless to say that it made you a stronger person because it seems as though you're a pretty tough individual right now. Especially with this comment:

Airbraceface wrote:I would just ditch him on the side of the road.

Which road? Some dirt road in the middle of West Virginia with no civilization for miles, with no food, water, cell phone or any other means of communication for outside help? That's a good idea...I'll consider that.

#5 Post by **Kerridwen** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 7:49 am

Yup, let him go...obviously he wasn't the right one. You're the one who must live with braces but you're also the one who will have lovely teeth afterwards...and braces aren't a big deal, really...I've had them before (for five years), you'll get used to it and so will all the people around you, especially the ones who like/love you.
You are not your braces.

Just like nobody is "his glasses" or his "haircut".

My ex wanted to talk me out of the whole thing...yes, he is my ex and he will always stay "my ex", now more than ever, and if he came crawling on his knees after my treatment...no way, Jose.

I think you deserved better...so try to forget about him...I'm in my late 20s and I think I will have trouble dating with braces on but really...it's not THAT bad, is it?
I've seen a lot of adults in braces lately (mainly because I pay attention now, I didn't care before and I never noticed anybody wearing braces!) and they looked alright to me...I wouldn't have a problem falling in love with a braced guy.

#6 Post by **Miss Smiley** » Thu Oct 11, 2007 9:37 am

Boys are stupid, it's time for you to move on and do something good for yourself, regardless of what others think. I'm lucky to have a supportive man, even with all my whiney days, he still understands and thinks I'm sexy.

Even when I get grumpy about having braces or I say "I wish I could take these stupid things off!" He says "You're going to have a really straight smile after, so just live with it." Not once has he said "UGH! I don't want to be seen with your gaps and ugly braces." You do what you need to do, and your confidence will skyrocket and shine. People will begin to flock towards you, like flies on poo!

#7 Post by **jenni11** » Fri Oct 12, 2007 11:03 am

My boyfriend was giving me a hard time before I got my braces too. Kept saying I would look funny and telling me stories of people he knew who had braces and said it was gross and stuff. So I told him off. You have to put your foot down and say screw you and do it for yourself. I have been with my guy for almost 3 years and he doesnâ€™t mind my teeth, he says they are beautiful But I hate them. We are planning to get married but that doesnâ€™t mean that things couldnâ€™t happen and I could be single again. And then what, you wanted to have straight teeth but didnâ€™t get them for some guy. Heck you would want to have straight teeth so you look hot for the next one. LOL. Luckily enough I told my bf not to make fun of me or if he did only a little bit. And I was surprised when I got home last night he was really supportive and said that they turned out not as bad as he thought and that he even thought it was cute now the way I talk with them. LOL. So I for his sake he is lucky he turned around. LOL. And girl keep your head up. Remember it is us who will be looking smokinâ€™ hot. And guys can be really stupid. My bf is 25 and can still act immature but I guess the 5 years from 20 to 25 helps cuz he came back to his senses.

Good LUCK! And hang in there!

#8 Post by **Teagan** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:09 pm

Thanks again for all of the sweet words, guys. After reading your posts, I'm definitely more inspired than ever to continue my treatment. What's even cooler is reading other threads with people who are going through the same things as me if not...they're a lot worse off! Some are teachers, some work as newscasters, some are much older...but we all share this wonderful metallic problem...I think it's really cool in a way!

jenni11 wrote:I have been with my guy for almost 3 years and he doesnâ€™t mind my teeth, he says they are beautiful.

I can't believe that...I can't even commit to having a goldfish. I have such a short attention span. The same person for three years? Yikes!

Oh and also, I just want to say that now that I have these, I find myself detecting other people with braces. Like I have Bracedar. For instance, I went to Krispy Kreme and got a dozen glazed with my friend Michael and saw this cashier in braces and nodded to him and was like, "Nice grill" and I winked at him and it was a laugh riot! But on the other hand...I also notice like over half of people have something wrong with their smile. I really don't think I'm exaggerating. Most people don't have smiles that I would like to have. So I'm so glad I'm doing this!

#9 Post by **jenni11** » Mon Oct 15, 2007 5:38 pm

I totally know what you mean about noticing other people with braces. I thought that there werent very many ladies in their 20's with the grills but there are tons. I went shopping the other day and it gave me some confidence seeing so many others with them. And then I see people with teeth that arent straight and it gets me excited to know that i will have straight ones someday