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I guess there's nothing like just screaming out for help when you need it. So here I go:
I just got braces again for the third time four days ago. I'm 34. I'm a server and so I deal with the public and always need to smile and I am feeling more self-conscious than ever before. I feel like everybody's looking and not saying anything and it's the first thing they see. I only have them on top but I seriously feel like Ugly Betty. But blonde, ha ha.
My mother and my friends assure me that it's not bad at all and they barely even notice and just to keep being myself. But I am having issues with this! I mean, I got the braces because I love my smile and it's so important to me and even pre-braces I always got compliments for smiling so much. But now...
I feel pretty damn miserable. It's my own fault for not wearing my retainer, really. I know the end result will be worth it. But an estimated two to two and a half years of this frightens me considerably.
I'm trying not to sound too whiny but I know it's not working. So. I wanted support from other people my age who are dealing with this.
And by the way, I've looked at the board and some progress and wanted to say way to go to all adults who are taking care of their beautiful smiles. You are all so brave!
Wow. 3rd time would be intense. I don't understand why it is the 3rd time though....can you explain a little about that as it makes me nervous! The first time you had braces maybe as a kid? the 2nd time as a young adult perhaps but why? why did't you wear the retainers after the 2nd time? why is it going to take 2+ years this time...sorry, so many questions!!!
Give yourself a 'grieving' time period and then tell yourself you need to focus on other things...don't let yourself wallow in self pity for too long. Make it a short, finite time. Afterall, you've chosen to have the braces - not like someone who (for example) was in an accident and had their perfect teeth messed up and had to get braces as part of a recovery process.
My dental history is a long one. My biggest issue is my jaw is too narrow. I already had four molars removed and then braces put on from 12 to 14. Then again at 15 till 17. I wore my retainer for about a year and then stopped. I don't know why. I guess because I was a stupid teenager. So everything shifted again. So that's why I'm going for round three. Of course the moral of the story is WEAR YOUR RETAINER!
I appreciate the idea of a short but meaningful "grieving" period. I just think I'm still in the middle of it. Like you said I did make this choice and I should just suck it up and forget about it. Again, I feel like most of you are so much braver than I am! I feel ridiculous. But thanks again for the kind words.
You are only four days into braces---you are still getting used to them. Braces are first and foremost in your mind right now so you assume they are showing up as a neon sign on your face. They're not. And this feeling wears off, trust me. I'm a year in, and most of the time I forget that there is anything unusual in my mouth. I don't try to hide my smile at all, and most people don't give my braces a second look. I do notice some people start out looking at my eyes, but then their eyes drop to my mouth and you can see the questions they are dying to ask, but after a year of dealing with that, it doesn't phase me anymore. The feeling that your mouth is on display will pass--really!--give it time.
Honestly, people don't notice your braces. Have you ever checked out the lig colors thread on this forum? There are those among us who have changed the colors on their braces to something WILD, and been disappointed because nobody noticed.
TumbleDry has a good point, too - I've experienced people noticing my braces and having questions written all over their faces that they are dying to ask, but don't because they are too shy or don't want to be rude.
And, get ready for this, some people think they're way cute.
Don't worry you aren't the only one!! I'm in braces for the third time also. It's not easy in the beginning, but it definitely gets easier. I've had my braces on this time around for five months now and I barely notice them anymore. Just hang in there and everything will be fine
What always makes me feel better whenever I am having a " I feel hideous why is everyone staring at my braces" day, is when I picture the person next to me with braces, and then think about how much I would not even notice/care.
Think about when your being waited on, do you even analyze or notice anything about that person? I know I don't. The reality of it all is that everyone is entirely too busy worrying about their own problems and insecurities to ever give yours any considerable thought.
The first week I had braces on I had a friend come into the restaurant I was working in at the time and we talked a little then I asked her, " Okay, how bad is it, just be honest with me!" She said "it doesn't look bad, at first I didn't even realize you dyed your hair." I was like whattttt I'm talking about my braces! She didn't even realize I had them even though we had talked for about 15 minutes prior to me bringing them up. It's actually kind of sad how much people really don't notice ha.
it actually surprised me at how many people didn't notice my braces - even when i'd meet up with friends, we'd be together for hours & finally they'd say - oh my gosh, when did you get braces? I didn't even notice! Kind of disappointing really, since I had been thinking of getting them for so long! I guarantee that your customers, if they are paying attention to anything about you at all, are concerned only with the level of service they are receiving from you, not that you have braces.
Hubby got his Harley - 8/07
Started researching Orthos - 9/07
Lower Pre-molar extractions 8/6/08
Braced on 8/13/08 - 39 years old
Debraced on 12/6/2010 - 41 years old
Looking forward to the next 41+ years, this time with an improved smile!
I too are having to go through treatment again because I didn't wear my retainers properly, it's horrible
You shouldn't be self-conscious of braces, if you think how many people have them, they aren't unusual at all.. nobody is gonna look and think 'what are those weird things on here teeth'..
Sounds strange but I actually think they can be quite attractive, if someone is confident and smiles it makes them seem a lot more approachable, especially in braces. It's definetely nowhere near as bad as you think, even if people do notice them, they are probably envious that you have the courage to wear them and straighten your teeth, I know when I see someone who's older wearing braces I have respect for them because it does take courage.
Honestly it's not a big deal at all, just think of how amazing and straight your teeth are gonna look when they're off.. and how cool it is having them on knowing they're leading to your perfect smile!
I just got my braces off two days ago - after 2 years, 3 months and 3 weeks (original projection was 2 years but I still need a postioner at the end of the month till mid-Feb) and lower jaw advancement surgery 4.5 months ago!!! No pics, sorry - my teeth are small and don't look that great -compared to many "after" photos, but all this work kept them from continuing to cave inward and now I look normal and that's great for me. I'm 46 -- older than you!
If I can do it -- and be glad I did - so can you!!!
I feel your pain While my teeth hurt BAD (I'm on day 3)...I honestly think I'm more upset psychologically than anything. I keep thinking that I would have rather lived with my hardly noticeable problem then go through this..unfortunatly, now that I have had a tooth removed and paid the 6 grand in full...I'm in this for the long haul. *Sigh*
Hiiii! I feel your pain. I am in the same boat as you. Im 26, and this is my second time in braces. At first, I use to feel the same way " im ugly, im miserable, blah blah blah"....Look at it like this, it will be all over with before you know it. Honestly, everytime I see a change in my teeth the more and more I forget the bad in them. You will be fine!! Honestly, day and age, no one really cares that you have braces. This is something I had to learn. I work in Marketing and Sales, and I was so self conscience about my smile because I am always in the public, then I realized that no one really paid my mouth/teeth any attention. Just continue on regularly, and the day will be just fine!!
I feel your pain though, totally! Before you know it, you will have the results you want!
I guarantee that your customers, if they are paying attention to anything about you at all, are concerned only with the level of service they are receiving from you, not that you have braces. 
