Supportive and unsupportive persons

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#1 Post by **amandajane** » Thu Jul 23, 2009 8:36 am

While having braces on, I've realized that some persons around me are unsupportive. Having braces, I really have to go my own way. Staying away from persons that are jealous or undependable.

my story:viewtopic.php?t=31380

#2 Post by **Lori** » Sun Jul 26, 2009 4:22 pm

Amandajane - I've encountered a few people like that, too. My sister actually said to me "Why are you doing that? I would cry everyday if I had to look like that for 2 years". I also had a dental assistant tell me to push for Invisalign (even though I'm not a good candidate) because the clear/ceramic braces were still really noticeable in his opinion. It's a good thing that I'm doing this for me and not anyone else. On the upside, my co-workers have all been very supportive. They really pushed me to go for it and gave me alot of tips and soft food recipes

#3 Post by **rolo** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 12:48 am

Cry everyday if she looked like you for two years??? Prozac or counselling maybe? Gosh, that person definitely needs to acquire some more hobbies and interests!

What have found extremely encouraging is that the people who were most positive about this were those who had undergone and completed treatment themselves, and some of them as adults. These people were completely convinced beyound shaddow of doubt that I wouldn't regret this, once done.

#4 Post by **Ice runner** » Wed Jul 29, 2009 8:17 am

Lori, you have to talk with your sister seriously!

People, who have natural perfect smile, they cant understand why we are doing that. Specialy for adults in braces, because people think in a way: you had messed up teeth for 40 years, why are you spending money now for that ridicous think on your teeth?

Before braces, I thought people will discourage me too, but so far, no one didnt say nothing. I can see how people look at me in a different way, like I would have some kind of disease, but they didnt say a word. But I really dont care, I am doing this for myself, this is one of my wish in life.

#5 Post by **Ladybird** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 7:40 am

My boss (male) at work told me "Your a gluten for punishment" to which I replied "Well my teeth will look nice at the end of it" to which he replied "I'LL TAKE YOUR WORD FOR IT" in a crappy tone of voice

As if to say Yeah right...

I think if you can't say anything nice.. keep your mouth shut!... stupid boss

#6 Post by **RickC** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:00 pm

The majorityof people that I have spoken to have been very encouraging and said good on you for doing it at your age, (I'm 28).
I 've found that the people who put you down are very insecure about themselves, for years my brother has been putting me down to make himself feel better.
My advice is to just ignore the unpleasant people and look forward to your new smile.

#7 Post by **sisi** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 12:12 pm

One friend said "eugh, braces!" when I told her I was getting them but she is that kind of person. It hurt but maybe it was a good thing that she said it because it toughened me up for peoples' startled looks and embarassed silence on the subject! I really believe that some people find it hard to deal with because their own teeth are not perfect. It can cause a lot of awkwardness but it is just temporary!!!!

#8 Post by **888A** » Mon Aug 03, 2009 8:14 pm

I hate to say it but my wife isn't very supportive about me getting my braces. She kept saying it was a waste of money. It got to a point where I got really upset with her and told her straight out not to say anything about it anymore.

Since then she hasn't said a word about it but I know what she's thinking everytime she sees me looking at my braces in the mirror. I'm not sure if she's jealous because she wanted to get braces a few years back but couldn't go through with it because she had to get some teeth pulled.

#9 Post by **mary.** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 2:28 pm

I've had a few comments but did not think they were intended in a critical way. By far and large, I've had tremendous support and incredibly positive responses to my braces. I think alot, if not all of it, had to do with my own attitude.

I was not sure how I would respond when I got braces. I thought I might get self concious and even try to hide them. Well, low and behold, didn't the opposite occur. I was, and am, so proud of myself! When people asked about my braces, I would instinctively respond enthusiastically "aren't they great!". Sometimes I would tell them how proud I was that I finally did it. I told my friends I was getting them and how scared I was for so many years and their response was "way to go!". I found that I flashed a big smile and showed my braces to anyone who would look my way, seriously I still do : ). In fact, since I got my braces a year and a half ago, my smile has become so big that I get all kinds of comments about it - people love it.

Ignore those people who throw a comment out here and there. Sometimes they don't mean to be critical. I remember one person saying "ouch" and she was just acknowleging some of the discomfort that she knew I was dealing with. She later told me how I would never regret such a good decision. I have had comments about cost, and I get where they're coming from. One fellow made such a comment to me two months ago, but you know he is of modest means and it is a cost that he could not afford. I just made it a priority and was able to get by. For those who are critical and mean to be, just flash them a big ol smile : ) Go ahead and rub it in a little - you're already gorgeous, and you'll be even more gorgeous, with some great health benefits to boot!

#10 Post by **Lori** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:02 pm

Lori, you have to talk with your sister seriously!

People, who have natural perfect smile, they cant understand why we are doing that. Specialy for adults in braces, because people think in a way: you had messed up teeth for 40 years, why are you spending money now for that ridicous think on your teeth?

Ice runner: Ya know the funny thing is - my sister needs braces, too! I did talk to her about her comment the other day and jokingly told her that she is considered an unsupportive person. She's been a lot better recently although I don't expect her to throw me a coming out party for my braces or anything. LOL.

Mary: Thank you for your post! It was so encouraging!

You have a great attitude. I printed it out and added it to my braces journal for days that I need extra motivation about this whole thing... like today!

#11 Post by **SpeakEasyAmy** » Tue Aug 04, 2009 6:14 pm

The best advice I've been given is to own the braces and not let them own me!

#12 Post by **cathykay** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 9:01 am

My friends have all been supportive of me getting braces. Just last night, I was over my friend's house and we ordered pizza. Without me even saying anything, she set the table with a knife and fork by my plate because she knows I have to cut up my pizza now. haha! There have also been times where I get pizza at a pizzeria with another girl-friend of mine, and she will eat her pizza with a knife and fork too so that I don't feel weird. She's actually considering braces herself now!

My friends have all commented on my teeth getting straighter. It was actually a few days after I got braces that I started hearing "your teeth look different already!" True or not, that was nice of them. When my teeth really did have visible changes, they were the first to point it out.

My family has also been supportive - and my parents are the one's paying for this.

#13 Post by **ellen** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 2:12 pm

Mary, I'm with you. I gush about my braces when someone notices them, they must think I'm so strange. Then I make them look as I point out all the positive changes in my teeth since I got them on. Again, they must thing I'm so strange. But I really am very proud of myself for going through braces (for a second time, no less). That's not to say I can't wait to get them off.... (see my post today on coil spring a/k/a "deli slicer").

I'd much rather have someone look at my teeth and say, "ooh, she has braces," than "eww, she needs braces."

#14 Post by **acidcookie** » Wed Aug 05, 2009 8:28 pm

Most people in my life have been supportive or sympathetic. But I think a lot of it is because people know how badly I feel about my teeth. My coworkers have either given me their own tales of woe from braces past or just asked how they feel. Heck, four of my MOM's friends (who are well over 40) have had braces or have them now.

I feel self conscious with strangers (I went clubbing in Vegas last weekend, THAT was awkward) and around guys but, I'd rather have folks say "ew she HAS braces" over "ew she NEEDS braces" besides, it's only temporary and having them shows you care about your appearance and want to do something about it...nothing wrong with that at all.

BTW, kissing with braces...NOT a big deal