Is it vain?

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#1 Post by **joeniceteeth1** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:33 pm

I was told by my orthodontist that this will be one of the best decisions I have ever made. I agree with him, and I am excited for this process.

Having said that, lately when I tell people about this and the more I think about my change in appearance, I feel all my friends and family will consider it vain. My mom already asked questions like "who said you need this" and "you look fine right now."

I do not look "bad" right now, but my jaw has receeded lately, and my bite has never been right. I cannot even make my back teeth touch. My surgeon told me the benefits to my speech, breathing, eating, appearance etc.

This has not been an easy decision, and having to deal with others attitudes is going to make things even worse.

This board has been very helpful in preparation and support. Can anyone else relate to this?

#2 Post by **daffodil** » Tue Jan 19, 2010 7:43 pm

I don't think wanting to be able to chew properly is vain at all

#3 Post by **Noam** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 6:38 am

What's wrong with doing a surgery just for cosmetic reasons ?, millions of people are doing it every year around the world (nose jobs, fat suctions, hair transplants, hair removal, face lifts, etc.).

People here will not admit, but without the hope for improvement in appearance, most people would have never done this surgery. Insurance companies know that for most people going through this surgery the main motivation is cosmetics, and hence the coverage problems.

#4 Post by **theKurp** » Wed Jan 20, 2010 8:34 am

There are degress of vanity and the degree to which someone will go in the name of vanity is what determines whether it's healthy or not.

There is nothing wrong with wanting to look your best. The question one must answer is whether or not extreme measures are a substitute for work, will power, and determination - which are all very admirable traits.

Once an adult, there is very little one can do on their own to correct malocclusion problems. The help of a qualified medical professional is mandatory and even more important, a great deal of commitment is required of the patient.

Bottom line? Who cares if people think you're vain for doing this? Nothing but good can come from fixing your occlusion and if your appearance happens to change for the better as a result, all the better.

#5 Post by **queenofoverbite** » Fri Jan 29, 2010 9:37 pm

Its YOUR face. Screw them.

#6 Post by **almost50** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 3:06 pm

Nothing wrong with doing it for cosmetic reasons. But I find that focusing on the medical reasons and downplaying the cosmetic benefits gets you more help and sympathy from friends and family. Not to mention asking for time off from work for the surgery. (Never once did I mention any cosmetic benefit--just stressed that this was the best and only real option for fixing the problems with my teeth.)

#7 Post by bb » Sat Jan 30, 2010 6:42 pm

I honestly don't understand why people(family and close friends) are resistant to adults getting braces.
Is it that they think it's a waste of that persons money?
Are they worried that it won't be an improvement?
Are they worried about the dangers of surgery?
Do they think that by wanting to improve my smile, they blame themselves for not giving enough positive feedback on my looks?
Or do they just think it plain vanity?

I can't count how many times I've heard "you look fine/beautiful as you are" and as many times as they may say it, it still doesn't fix my underbite and open bite.

I don't know!!

#8 Post by **daffodil** » Sat Jan 30, 2010 6:47 pm

I think sometimes people are just jealous when others work to improve themselves.

#9 Post by **OhioM** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 5:26 am

There is vanity and there is wanting to look normal - two different things, imho. I may be a little vain, but mostly I want to look normal. I don't need to be the prettiest, or Miss America, but I want to have a jaw that looks normal and functions properly. I'll be glad to have a nicer facial appearance, too, but after having a BAD facial appearance for 37 years, I'm just going to enjoy it and not worry if there might be a tad bit of vanity in there somewhere.

#10 Post by **ReneG** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 8:01 am

More often than not, people are superficial. The first (and easiest) assumption is always vanity. I only bother explaining why I need braces and surgery to my close friends/colleagues. That's often because they are the only ones who actually listen and understand that it's way more than vanity.

Personally, I've lived with my bad bite and average looks made worse by small jaw for 30+ years. Until a dentist pointed out my bad bite, I didn't even realise it!! Now that I'm past surgery and my jaw is in the right place, I am sooo glad I went through all that. Like the OP, the benefits are to my speech, breathing, eating and even my appearance. The biggest winner is ME. Who cares what others think?

#11 Post by **Noam** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 11:33 am

I don't understand what is wrong with vanity.

Is there a reason, apart from vanity, for doing: nose jobs, breast enlargements, face lifts, fat suction, hair transplants, hair removal, etc. ?, no there isn't, it's all just for vanity, people want to be very good looking, because in the world we live today, the more good looking you are, the easier your life will be.

In contrast to all the things written in the paragraph above, a jaw surgery can also give some functional improvement, apart from the aesthetic one, so it's even easier to justify it than to justify the rest of the things in the list (which are done by everyone on a daily basis).

#12 Post by **OhioM** » Sun Jan 31, 2010 1:01 pm

Noam, I see your point! But most people think vanity is superficial. We are taught to value the inside more than the outside. But you're right! Life can be easier for good looking people. It takes a very strong person to overcome unattractiveness and get through life confidently.

But when we start doing things that carry some risk in order to improve our appearances, people think that maybe we are valuing our outsides more than our health, which is considered superficial and kind of desperate.

I don't think there are many people who don't have some level of vanity going on in America; however, the less vain view the more vain as silly. Or maybe it's just insecurity!

#13 Post by **Noam** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 5:29 am

OhioM wrote:Noam, I see your point! But most people think vanity is superficial. We are taught to value the inside more than the outside.

Society is plagued with Hypocrisy.

Society teach ideals, but sadly, in real life, looks is one of the most important characteristics of a person, especially the face.

But when we start doing things that carry some risk in order to improve our appearances, people think that maybe we are valuing our outsides more than our health, which is considered superficial and kind of desperate.

As I said, society is plagued with Hypocrisy.

#14 Post by **mp921** » Mon Feb 01, 2010 7:55 pm

I met a lot of resistance when telling family, friends & coworkers about the surgery. I had a severe overbite, but I jetted my jaw forward to compensate and therefore most people didn't realize there was a problem. My surgery didn't change my appearance (well, I think my symmetry is off a bit now

), only the position of my lower jaw. Now I'm wishing I'd had a couple of things "fixed" while I was under...