No boyfriend + braces at 21 = A very unhappy girl

Message

#1 Post by **musiclover** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 7:27 pm

I am a 21 year old university student and have been wanting braces for a long time. My parents recently informed me that they would be able to pay for me to get my teeth fixed so I went ahead and started my orthodintic journey

I got damon brackets put in about a week and a half ago and thought it was the end of the world. I talked kind of funny and I thought I looked pretty stupid with a mouth full of metal but, I soon got over it.
This past monday (so, three days ago) I got a Nitanium palate expander put in and let me tell you...you don't know what you got till' its gone. I've been having major trouble eating because my food keeps getting stuck in between my palate and my expander. I also have been having a very hard time talking normally. I sound like i am deaf with a lisp when I talk. It is pretty depressing seeing as I had 0 confidence going into this process. I wanted to get the braces so that I can have straighter teeth and some confidence. I was so unaware that I was going to have to go through 6 months of speaking funny and eating mushy food.
I have no boyfriend and its setting in that for at least the next 6 months (that's how long the expander will have to stay in), I will be of absolutely no intrest to any guys I know.
I understand that in the long run, this will all be totally worth it but my self-esteem is just taking a major major hit with this expander curve ball.
I'm having a pretty rough time dealing with the expander. Does anyone have any advice for me, because I am feeling so discouraged right now.

#2 Post by **dangerdude** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:26 pm

You should be studying and not worrying about a boyfriend

Play with toys in the mean time

#3 Post by **luchababe** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:31 pm

I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I don't have a palate expander, but I'm sure it was quite a shock to have that AND your braces to get used to at the same time.

Keep the faith. You'll get used to things. It's amazing how the body can adapt.

And you should be concentrating on your studies, not the boys!

Just kidding, I hope I didn't sound like your parents! Would you really want to hang around a guy that couldn't get past the fact you're fixing your teeth? I'm sure you'd want a guy who didn't care what was going on in your mouth right now but cared about what's in your head. Mind. Um, you get my point?

Maybe your braces can be a good conversation starter? It's amazing how many people love to talk about their teeth!

Cheer up, you'll find lots of advice on this forum.

#4 Post by **BraceFace2o1o** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:37 pm

dangerdude wrote:Play with toys in the mean time

Guys aren't just for making our 'toys' redundant!

I'm worrying what guys will think of my braces too, I am 24 and split with my boyfriend in January. But like luchababe said, any man who judges you on your braces/expander isn't really worth your time anyway. When someone is in braces, possible partners need to use their heads a bit more and realise braces are not forever, a few years at most... It's a shame some people can be so superficial and cruel.

Good luck, keep your chin up! I used to get annoyed when people said this to me, but there really is plenty of time for boyfriends

#5 Post by **38Illinois** » Wed Nov 17, 2010 8:38 pm

I understand that braces suck. You are doing the right thing and will be able to enjoy a nice smile for along time. Many guys find braces cute and being 21 isn't that odd to have braces. Hang in there and before you know it you will be without braces and married with kids. Good luck.

#6 Post by **musiclover** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:33 pm

luchababe wrote:I'm really sorry to hear you're having such a hard time. I don't have a palate expander, but I'm sure it was quite a shock to have that AND your braces to get used to at the same time.

Keep the faith. You'll get used to things. It's amazing how the body can adapt.

And you should be concentrating on your studies, not the boys! Just kidding, I hope I didn't sound like your parents! Would you really want to hang around a guy that couldn't get past the fact you're fixing your teeth? I'm sure you'd want a guy who didn't care what was going on in your mouth right now but cared about what's in your head. Mind. Um, you get my point?

Maybe your braces can be a good conversation starter? It's amazing how many people love to talk about their teeth!

Cheer up, you'll find lots of advice on this forum.

Thanks a lot for your kind words

And you are completely right about the guy thing. I'm looking at it from a "I look nerdy" perspective when I really should be looking at it in the way that you said..i'm fixing my teeth.
I should be proud of that.
So thanks alot for your advice and a new take on having a mouth full of metal lol

#7 Post by **musiclover** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:38 pm

Chrystal wrote:
dangerdude wrote:Play with toys in the mean time
Guys aren't just for making our 'toys' redundant!

I'm worrying what guys will think of my braces too, I am 24 and split with my boyfriend in January. But like luchababe said, any man who judges you on your braces/expander isn't really worth your time anyway. When someone is in braces, possible partners need to use their heads a bit more and realise braces are not forever, a few years at most... It's a shame some people can be so superficial and cruel.

Good luck, keep your chin up! I used to get annoyed when people said this to me, but there really is plenty of time for boyfriends

I'm sorry to hear about your split with your boyfriend but hopefully after your orthodonict process, you'll come out with straight teeth and a new found confidence that makes you unstoppable. You'll find another boyfriend in no time

It's so true that people can be so superficial and its such a shame because our braces don't define who we are. Oh well, their lose if they don't get it right? lol.
I see by your ticker attached to the last post that today is braces day for you! Congrats!! Good luck with your journey

#8 Post by **musiclover** » Thu Nov 18, 2010 1:39 pm

38Illinois wrote:I understand that braces suck. You are doing the right thing and will be able to enjoy a nice smile for along time. Many guys find braces cute and being 21 isn't that odd to have braces. Hang in there and before you know it you will be without braces and married with kids. Good luck.

Thanks for the encouraging words

#9 Post by **Kristiana** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:16 pm

I got married when I was 21.... My husband and I met when I was 20 and had acne scars on my face. He still thought I was pretty

Braces aren't bad looking, and having them now means your teeth will only get prettier as time goes by!

#10 Post by **Mabus71** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 7:17 pm

Hey,

Don't worry about it.. I'm 25 I just finished with my expander today actually.. I know how you feel... I got my expander put in after my SARPE surgery in the summer and i hated it.. i remember coming out the first day salivating so much cause my mouth was like what the hell is in here??

Then I was like eating only soup and stuff for the first week or two and hated my life even more lol... Eventually you will get used to the expander and to be honest no one will even notice its in your mouth.. The only thing people will notice is the ones who already know you and how you sound they might wonder why ur talkin a bit funny but again you will get used to it and you will pronounce words very similar to the way you did before in time.

The hardest part of the expander is when you get a gap between the two front of your teeth.. you might really feel bad when you see it cause it doesn't look flattering at all.. I still have mine as my top braces just went on today after they removed my expander but its gonna close up real quick.

All I can tell you is be patient, I think you made the right choice by getting braces and you rpe in the first place.. it shows you had dedication and want to be able to smile in the future with confidence, as for not having a boyfriend don't worry about it.. a lot of people are in your position and they have perfect teeth too lol, maybe i took it a bit better since I'm a guy and I'm sure we don't get judged on our looks as much as girls do but just forget about the superficial things for now. Just focus on your close friends and family and school for now, everything else will fall into place when the time is right!

#11 Post by **msbee** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 8:54 am

Hey, you must feel awful, and I suppose a bunch of oldies like us telling you that you're still young doesn't really help coz I guess you don't want to spend your youth being stuck in this...
Yeah, I guess that's one of the reasons why I waited til I was 30 to put on braces, but man, do I wish I had them when I was still in school, then I could've enjoyed a straight smile so much earlier
You didn't make the wrong decision, don't worry, your treatment will be over in no time, and you'll be happy that you did it (with your parents' sponsorship too!)...