braces and dating.... new to both

Message

#1 Post by **littleviolet** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 5:59 am

Im 20 (turning 21 next year) and I'll be getting braces on soon. I have to have them on for about 2 years, with lower jaw surgery about a year into treatment to correct my overbite. This is rather embarrassing, but I have never dated anyone before or even had my first kiss yet. I've always been very shy. I've had boys interested in me, I've just never been confident enough to have a boyfriend. However now that im 20 I feel like I need to step out of my comfort zone, or i'll be alone forever. But am I going to have to put it on hold for another 2 years? It would be pretty pathetic if I was 22/23 and to have never even had a relationship. Im worried that because I dont even know how to kiss without braces, how am I ever going to do it with them on?! and I'll probably be hopeless after having jaw surgery. Who is ever going to want me?

any advice or stories with your own dating experiences with braces, please?

#2 Post by **hal2me** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:54 am

While I don't have experience with the dating aspect of braces as I was married when I got them, I can tell you that you are going to feel so much more confident once you get them. Your confidence will soar because you made such a great decision about your teeth. That is going to show when you meet someone.

Everyone wants to be with a confident person. You are going to have more dates than you could every imagine while wearing braces. Go out there and smile. The dates will come sooner than you think.

Kissing is not an issue. Honestly, the first time you kiss someone you are mindful of the braces. After that, you don't even think about it. My husband has told me that when he kisses me he cannot "feel" the braces. Kissing comes naturally, it's not something that you learn and it's different with every person you kiss.

You are going to be gorgeous and have lots of dates while braced. Just you wait and see!

#3 Post by **evilnel** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 8:22 am

littleviolet, don't feel embarrassed. I'm 24 and haven't dated much or kissed anyone either! I just find most guys in my area to be really lame/boring, haha. Save it for somebody who is important to you! I am super busy with school so I don't get out much, but the guy I am getting to know now doesn't give a sesame that I have braces. He is interested in ME. So don't worry. Yeah, some guys will be stupid and not want to date you because of braces, but the ones that you probably want to date anyway will not care or will understand that you're doing this to improve your health/looks (and that's a big plus for many people!).

#4 Post by **evilnel** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 8:23 am

Lol, the edit of my swear to sesame is priceless.

#5 Post by **Tasha Fierce** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:11 am

Littleviolet, I was in your shoes not too long ago. I was braced when I was 20 too and I was terrified that all my dating prospects would go out the window. I couldn't be more wrong! As soon as I got my braces, it seemed like I got more attention. My roommates would joke that my braces were like a magnet for guys! Don't worry about the braces and meeting someone. If it makes you feel better I started dating my boyfriend about 5 months after I was braced and we're still going strong.

Kissing is not difficult with braces at all. Like previously mentioned, you're afraid that they will get in the way at first, but they don't! It will come naturally to you, and I hope that the boy who's lucky enough to be kissing you will completely understand if you're nervous about it.

If your braces are still affecting your confidence, remember this (I read it on this forum when I first got braced and it's what has kept me going): Would you rather someone say, "Oh, that girl has braces." or "Oh, that girl needs braces?" You're doing something to better your health and appearance, don't feel bad about that! And I'm sure you look great now, good job for having the courage to take the braces plunge! You won't regret it.

#6 Post by **VikingGirl** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 3:48 pm

I have been invited out more now with gross metal braces than before I got them - the confidence thing is true.

#7 Post by **blackapple** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 7:03 pm

I agree with the masses. I am only 3 months into treatment and this is the most confidence I swear I have had in all of my adult life and I am 35 single and still actively dating. I am constantly smiling and grinning in folks faces with the braces on. I can only imagine when the darn things come off.

#8 Post by **Kristiana** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 10:42 pm

Tasha Fierce wrote: It will come naturally to you, and I hope that the boy who's lucky enough to be kissing you will completely understand if you're nervous about it.

This, and if he doesn't understand, don't kiss him!!

There is no rule that says you have to kiss everyone you date, either. I decided to wait to kiss anyone until I was at least engaged, because I wanted it to mean something special rather than just be an obligatory end-of-date custom. I had just turned 21 when I first kissed my now husband. We have been very happily married for almost 5 1/2 years now

#9 Post by **CanberraRaiders** » Mon Nov 22, 2010 11:56 pm

With you there VikingGirl. I've had braces for the past 10 months now and have had 5 times more action in those 10 months than the previous 22 years combined. Go figure??? haha.

Confidence is the key!! I've found that if you're confident with braces on you will get more respect compared to if you were confident without braces. Wierd but that's what I've noticed.

#10 Post by **AnnR** » Tue Nov 23, 2010 11:14 am

I was more embarrassed when i had horrible teeth than now when I am braced. I wish I'd done it sooner (Im 29). I never smiled or felt comfortable in groups before and it was nerve wracking meeting new people, all because i lacked self confidence due to my teeth.
Now, I have definately changed in that way! I feel much more attractive - weird but trust me!

You'll be fine!!!

#11 Post by **pinkiipromise** » Wed Nov 24, 2010 7:20 am

Aww don't worry. Braces won't affect kissing. My boyfriend tells me he can't feel my braces when he kisses me.

Just remember to be confident and don't stop smiling!

#12 Post by **littleviolet** » Thu Nov 25, 2010 6:01 am

Thanks everyone

I know it's the confidence that matters. Hopefully braces will boost my confidence a bit, at least they are better then crooked teeth! because it show's im fixing my problem

I was just worried guys would be turned off because braces could make kissing difficult. But im glad thats not the case.

I actually went out with friends last night to celebrate the end of the Uni year, and I tryed to be really confident (a few drinks helped

) and a cute guy came over and chatted to me and asked for my phone number

he has msgd me a few times today... but hasn't asked me out lol oh well it's a start.

#13 Post by **littleviolet** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 1:11 am

I went on a date on Saturday night

with the cute guy I met last week.
He was really nice, and now I can say I've finally had my first kiss

im glad I got to do it before getting braces

#14 Post by **seriousthinker** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 2:23 am

Hi,

I know it's easy for me to say being married before having braces but please don't let it get in the way of anything. I'm sure t won't make a difference and if it does then you'd be better off without the person making it matter if that makes sense.

Good luck with your journey!

#15 Post by **mikesmile** » Mon Nov 29, 2010 7:27 am

Hello Littleviolet

It seems you've gotten some excellent responses here. I'll add my own two cents - from a guy's perspective. It's all about attitude, honey. Lot's of people - young and old - are getting braces now. It's not so unusual. Most guys are not going to be turned off if they see you have braces. They may even admire you for having the guts to do this past the teenager stage.
A mature guy will look right past the braces, believe me. They may even find it cute... In my younger days, I dated a few girls who either had braces when we met or got them while we were dating. It was never a turn-off and certainly kissing was no different...

Good Luck!

Second Time In Braces - Estimate 12-14 Months