Dos and Don'ts for Unbraced People Embracing Braced People

[Gennie 50]

Don't say "When are you going to be able to quit wearing those nasty elastics?". Believe it or not they are a necessary part of treatment!

Wha???

I thought you just wore them to look cool.

Elastics are cool right?

[Skeptical]

Great topic!

Just because you have experience with braces (whether as a former metal mouth or b/c you worked in the field of dentistry/ortho) DON'T skeptically question every detail of my treatment and DON'T enthusiastically point out what YOU think my dentist is doing wrong. Trust me, I'm already feeling skeptical and unsure about this process, unless you have spoken to my dentist and have your license to practice, you're probably off-base.

If you do have some experience and have suggestions/knowledge that you think could help - DO offer it tactfully and gently WHEN I ASK FOR IT.

[WebDevGirl]

I have another one!

Don't tell me some braces horror story you happen to know, just to make conversation.

LOL So true!! When i told people i was getting braces THIS IS ALL I HEARD!! Most of the time it had been so long since they had braces they just remember the bad stuff. Plus most of them got it as kids as something their parents made them do so the hatred is buried deep. I on the other hand LOVE my braces and i'm so glad i did it!

Here is mine:

- Don't tell me that you are 'proud of me' but 'could never have done it themselves' like it was a bad thing.

- Do tell me how awesome my new smile is, i love hearing it!

[Luna22]

I am getting my braces tomorrow but I was already told that I don't need them, that I am crazy to spend so much money on my teeth, that I will look childish with colorful ligs. I'm tired to explain that it's not all about the cosmetic part. And I don't even have them on yet :|

[TinkB]

DON'T SAY:
"Your married and have kids, you don't need them."
"Shouldn't the money be going to your kids and not wasted on yourself." - You can thank my dad for that one.

Also, please don't offer a piece of candy that you obviously know I can't eat. A mom at my daughter's dance studio offered me some taffy the second day I had my braces.

[stepher7]

I'm sure this one has been said several times already, but please....for the love of Pete....DO NOT tell me that I didn't need them!! Just because you maybe didn't stare at my teeth and realize that I needed them, I DID need them! I wouldn't be going through this process as an adult if it hadn't been necessary.

Also, don't stare at my mouth when I'm talking to you. I see it, it makes me self conscious. Thank you for that.

DO act like I'm a completely normal adult, even though I have metal and ceramic all over my teeth. I still feel like an adult, think like an adult and want to be treated like one.

[Bec There]

I was told I need to work on correcting my self esteem, not correcting my smile. Because apparently my smile has 'nothing' to do with my self esteem. Haha

this was from my mother.

luckily, most other people have expressed more positive thoughts.

[tfischer]

Love it when I am told I am being selfish because I wanted my front two teeth together....don't I have better things to spend money on??? (I am doing it because my daughter will need braces in a few years, trying to set a good example)

Love the people who stare at my mouth - apparently my colored ligs are facinating....

Yes, thank you for noticing that my lip caught on my braces - and snickering about it....

Please, please be as excited as I am that my teeth have moved and you can see that they have moved......

Don't ask me to see my teeth....

Because I now whistle when I say certain letters - please don't take it personally if I am quieter than normal - one or two comments about how I now whistle when I talk is enough to make me not want to advertise the whistle....

I am so glad this thread was bumped - its fun but also I am glad that things people say or do happens to all of us and I am not over-reacting.....

[chainreaction]

Don't say "oh, you should have gotten them long ago" .

[Sita]

Don't say "Where did you get the money for that?".

[chris500]

dont call me train track mouth!

[maeby]

I don't even have braces yet and I've already heard several of these. I've talked with friends and family about it a few times over the past few years and I've gotten:

• "I never noticed your teeth being crooked!"
  
  "I like your teeth the way they are."
  
  "I think perfect teeth look creepy."
  
  "That's a lot of money! It's a big down payment on... something."
  
  "If you get braces, I'm going to laugh."
  
  "It's never a mistake to do something that will improve your health and self-esteem."

And, like I said, all this is before getting them!

[rhibee83]

Looking through old posts and I found this one, I like it!

Don't ask me how my braces are going and then when I say my teeth are still tender, do not ask me why... or assume they shouldnt be hurting anymore. its annoying and i cannot help that my teeth are sensitive!

do not STARE at my mouth when I am talking to you. I can tell and its rude. if you want to ask about them, just do it.

Do not say I look like a high school girl. I am 30. not 13.

Do not offer me food and then when I say "I can't eat that" do not ask me WHY> isn't it obvious! argh! lol

Ahh, feeling better

[djspeece]

From the book of Dan:
Don't:
- Tell me that teeth move much slower in older adults or remind me that I will have to wear a retainer the rest of my life (A general dentist on my team likes to remind me of this. I remind him that his presence on my team remains at my pleasure, accompanied by my patented Death Stare).
- Ask me to open my mouth in public so you can satisfy your curiosity. (gf has done this. She also receives above mentioned Death Stare)


Do:
- If a woman, it is always perfectly acceptable to say "Wow Dan, you look great. I have never kissed a man with braces. May I try?"
- When I express concern about eating in public, a friend will say "You can always eat salad when we go out to lunch, it's fine."
- Have a sense of humor if you are going to ask me personal questions like the "Why did you do it?" question, and I respond "So I will have the nicest smile in the cemetary."

[JillD]

"So I will have the nicest smile in the cemetary."

Are you sure that our teeth stop moving after we die, even if we don't wear retainers? Is there a research to back it up?