Braces after a breakup

[trisportgirl]

Last week, my boyfriend of three years decided to break up with me. It was completely unexpected, and I have been an on-and-off wreck since then, but I have decided I had better start thinking about dating someone else (because I'm hardly going to sit around and wait for him to figure his life out). The major thing that makes me nervous about dating is my braces! It wasn't such a huge deal when I was in a long-term relationship because I knew it was temporary in the grand scheme of things...but now I'm going to be starting fresh with someone who doesn't even know what I look like without them!

I know there are lots of people who don't mind braces, and that I wouldn't want to be with someone who would judge me for such a superficial and temporary reason, and that I probably care about them way more than anyone else, but I can't help but feel nervous and wonder how they will react. I met my ex on lavalife, and I will probably try online dating again, so do I say I have braces in my profile? Do I warn them before we meet in person? Hope they don't notice/don't care at all?

It's hard to feel sexy and desirable when I think I look like a 14-year-old...I naturally look young (I'm 24), and the braces aren't helping!

[BrAcEr357]

It is never fun to go through a breakup and getting through the hardship. Like you I see braces as a "temporary situation" and a personal decision to make oneself better and even improve your oral health in so many ways. Many people you will meet will have had braces, or may even be considering braces and will understand the situation you are in. If braces are that much of a turn off they are not looking for a lasting relationship as they can not see past them being removed and the perfect smile behind them.

I am a 25 year old single male soon to be braced again on April 11th in full metal uppers and lowers (yes, a full metal mouth). I will also be going on a date after having braces and my cousin getting married at the end of April. My date will find out when they meet me and it will be a small topic of discussion. If my date cannot stand it then they are not the person for me and cannot see past the temporary situation of braces. My family will get over it and I am sure it will make for some interesting family gossip but I will get over it. You are not alone in this journey and we are all sharing or will be sharing similar situations. I am not going to post that I have braces on my online dating profiles.

The majority of people will see past the braces and want to find out what kind of person you are, what are your interests, values, etc. Looks are only small part of the equation it is who you are and again the braces will be removed in due time.

Before you know it you will meet someone, it happens when you least expect it.

[maxhammer]

You should post a photo on the site where you smile and show them. That way you don't have to say a word about them, and the people who write you will obviously not care you have them.

[trisportgirl]

The majority of people will see past the braces and want to find out what kind of person you are, what are your interests, values, etc. Looks are only small part of the equation it is who you are and again the braces will be removed in due time.

Before you know it you will meet someone, it happens when you least expect it.

Thank you so much for saying this, it's exactly what I needed to hear. I know logically that it's true, but I still get nervous so it's great to hear it again from someone else!

I've used photos from before I got braces, so even where I'm smiling you can't tell I have them now. I've only had them on for 4 months and I barely have any photos of me anyways, let alone any really recent ones. I also don't want to attract fetishists...I'm looking for something long term!

[maxhammer]

I also don't want to attract fetishists...I'm looking for something long term!

On the flipside, it is misleading to hide it from the dating pool. I'd at least write it in your profile.

[tarabears]

Ugh, I know what you're going through. My ex-fiance and I just broke off our engagement a few weeks ago and I haven't even considered my braces as being possibly unattractive until now. Although I'm not looking to date anyone else at the time (it's been very rough as I'm sure you know, and I'm not ready nor want to be in another relationship at the moment), I still realize that I'll be in these things for at least another year - and during that time I'm sure I'll begin dating again. I just recently started wondering how men might perceive me with braces and how that could affect my future relationships. We're probably making it a bigger deal than it actually is though, and who knows, maybe some guys might actually find it cute

[trisportgirl]

On the flipside, it is misleading to hide it from the dating pool. I'd at least write it in your profile.

I would disagree that it's misleading - some might feel that way when they meet me and find out, but it is a temporary thing that doesn't affect any part of a relationship I would have with them, so I don't see why I would have an obligation to "warn" them in advance. It's not like I have children I'm not telling them about

[maxhammer]

But you are purposely withholding information from these guys. It's not a great way to start a relationship. Show the braces and let them decide if they're okay with it. As is, you're making decisions for them, and the fact you're asking the question means you know on some level you should tell them. You're just afraid it'll limit your dating pool, get rejected, or feel shame. Just show them and let them like or dislike the real you.

[24braceface]

I have braces and still get lots of attention, every guy has a crush on me at work, and I met and fell in love with someone with braces on. I'm just glad that I didn't let braces stop me socially.

[24braceface]

What this board needs to understand is that people don't care about braces as much as some of you think. Reading posts on here you'd think it's an absolutely catastrophic ordeal socially when it's not. Your friends, family, and potential lovers aren't gonna care if you're braced. That's not just wishful thinking, I'm telling you this from personal experience.

[auco99]

I'm a guy. I think more guys find adult braces attractive, or at least cute, than ya'll realize. If single, I would definitely date a girl with braces; wouldn't bother me a bit. My wife has Invisalign, and I love the little brackets on her teeth. Try not to worry about it too much.

[auco99]

What this board needs to understand is that people don't care about braces as much as some of you think. Reading posts on here you'd think it's an absolutely catastrophic ordeal socially when it's not. Your friends, family, and potential lovers aren't gonna care if you're braced. That's not just wishful thinking, I'm telling you this from personal experience.

You are completely right about that. My orthodontist and I are literally the only 2 people in the entire world that cares that I have braces. Literally the only 2. I think about this all the time when I have second thoughts about what I've done, mostly just because of the mild discomfort and sometimes major inconvenience. Even my wife forgets I have them.

This is just my opinion, and others have said it a million times, but braces are only a big deal to those who have them. It's almost like a co-worker getting a really nice new car. I notice it the first couple of days, and then forget about it. Meanwhile, they are the ones that are left to pay for it each month, maintain it, etc. After a few days, the new car is their concern, not mine. Though it might consume their lives, I won't give it a second thought.

[udubdave]

I just decided to put my dating life on hold until I get them off. If something happens along the way, great, if not, then that's fine too.

[roxie2519]

Thats silly, I love my braces just for the fact that they make my teeth straight. Just work with your personality and who cares about some stupid braces? If he is smart enough, he will understand. love yourself, embrance yourself , and everybody else will.

[vegathestar]

[quote="trisportgirl"]Last week, my boyfriend of three years decided to break up with me. It was completely unexpected, and I have been an on-and-off wreck since then, but I have decided I had better start thinking about dating someone else (because I'm hardly going to sit around and wait for him to figure his life out). The major thing that makes me nervous about dating is my braces! It wasn't such a huge deal when I was in a long-term relationship because I knew it was temporary in the grand scheme of things...but now I'm going to be starting fresh with someone who doesn't even know what I look like without them!

I know there are lots of people who don't mind braces, and that I wouldn't want to be with someone who would judge me for such a superficial and temporary reason, and that I probably care about them way more than anyone else, but I can't help but feel nervous and wonder how they will react. I met my ex on lavalife, and I will probably try online dating again, so do I say I have braces in my profile? Do I warn them before we meet in person? Hope they don't notice/don't care at all?

It's hard to feel sexy and desirable when I think I look like a 14-year-old...I naturally look young (I'm 24), and the braces aren't helping![/quote]

Hi, I just got braces and i'm 20 this year. Seriously go for it! You'll have great looking teeth in 2 years time and I think braces are actually really cute!
I've the same problem, I feel like its hard to look or feel sophisticated with braces on *sigh*, you can opt for invisalign if you really mind braces.