Braces and husband

[tiana]

Hi all,
It is a while I have not been writing anything about me. Things are quite ordinary: braces are painful, movements are slow but everything is on its way.
However, there is a thing which bothers me: recently, I realized that my braces put my husband off. He was entirely supportive when I decided to put braces on, but despite dening to be bothered by them, I noticed that he did not kiss me anymore (sig!). Also, he shifts his gaze away from my face when we are close. I definitly think he does not like the look of my theet.

So far, a year has gone but another has to pass. Generally, I do not care what other people think about my look, but I do not want to be repellent to him for another whole year. This saddens me a bit. Has anyone had such problem? Do you think there is anything I could do?

Thank you.

[Nozzelnut]

You'll have to talk to him about it. Guys aren't that complicated. Honest questions get honest answers.

He might be thinking they hurt you and he doesn't want to cause you any pain. If you've mentioned after an adjustment "Wow my teeth really hurt" or "I can only eat yogurt tonight..." He remembers that. And guessing sometimes they do hurt; but maybe you could work out different physical affection and attention that wouldn't cause you any pain, but lets you know he still loves ya.

[djspeece]

You'll have to talk to him about it. Guys aren't that complicated. Honest questions get honest answers.

He might be thinking they hurt you and he doesn't want to cause you any pain. If you've mentioned after an adjustment "Wow my teeth really hurt" or "I can only eat yogurt tonight..." He remembers that. And guessing sometimes they do hurt; but maybe you could work out different physical affection and attention that wouldn't cause you any pain, but lets you know he still loves ya.

Yes, all good advice. I'm assuming that your love life was good before the braces. Get it out there in the open. Braces really don't have to be a barrier to serious love making; start things off slowly and let his hormones kick in. He might have some fears about receiving oral sex, and if that has been part of your repertoire I think you should also address that directly. Maybe a glass or wine to facilitate and reduce inhibitions. There is also a section at the top of the forum about braces and romance, so you might want to check into that. Good luck!

[kathydell]

Totally agree with just asking. I had the limited kissing thing in the beginning too but I solved it by taking matters into my own hands. Our passionate kisses turned into little pecks and it drove me crazy. So, when he would do that, I would sort of pull him back in and give him a much better smooch. After I did that a few times, we figured it out and he realized we couldn't have the same awesome makeouts but could certainly do a whole heck of a lot better than we were doing in the beginning. Please don't let your self confidence suffer because you don't know what the challenge is and start feeling bad about yourself. Afterall, that probably defeats the purpose of getting the braces in the first place.

[ca214]

A perspective from the male side.. I would agree, generally, we are rather simple, so just be direct.

My gf says that, save for the most aggressive make out sessions, she does not notice my braces ever. I was surprised by this, but she maintains it's no different from normal making out. She may be jaded by nearly two years of braceface, but hard to say.

C

[tiana]

Thank you all.
I followed your advice and I questioned him directly about my braces.
He dislikes them because they are so metallic-shining that they remind him of doctors and surgery: which are two things that makes him feeling really unconfortable. Moreover he says my braces seem soiled and dirty because of the spots of glue my ortho puts here and there to avoid scratching.
But he loves me, thought, and we agreed to supply the lack of smooching with cuddles.
So, I guess, I have to wait and be patient.

[sirwired]

I think it's positive he was honest with you about why they bothered him, as opposed to denying that they did, despite all available evidence. I wonder if the ortho removing the extra cement and maybe adding in some brightly colored ligatures might help. I don't know too much medical equipment that has neon-pink trim on it!