I think I'm calling it quits....

[Cait]

I had two rounds of braces growing up which was all fine and dandy....until it wasn't. I apologize in advance for this pity party you will be reading if you choose to do so.

I'm 24, with braces, and this is the most depressed I've probably ever felt in my life. Finding out a year ago that my previous ortho had taken off my braces too early was not great news. Neither was hearing I'd need two years of treatment. I accepted my fate and got my braces 'installed' last October.

Anxious to have gotten them on, this new self conscious me was hoping these feelings would fade. Little did I know months later I would have isolated myself from social activities, felt horridly awkward smiling or being in pictures, and contemplating just taking them off. I cry daily, and constantly feel depressed. I know no one probably enjoys braces in their twenties but I honestly don't think I can move forward--this only month 6...

My usual self is giggly, vivacious, adventurous, and talkative--I feel like I've lost a lot of what I love about myself these past few months and now I'm at a loss. Even writing this down is bringing me to tears. I know it's important to have a great smile and I have a bit of an overbite to fix, but I'm now not sure if this journey is for me.

Not sure how to approach my ortho, or my mom (who is a dental assistant) who pushed me to take this step in the first place.

Thoughts? Xx

[Cait]

[quote="Cait"]I had two rounds of braces growing up which was all fine and dandy....until it wasn't. I apologize in advance for this pity party you will be reading if you choose to do so.

I'm 24, with braces, and this is the most depressed I've probably ever felt in my life. Finding out a year ago that my previous ortho had taken off my braces too early was not great news. Neither was hearing I'd need two years of treatment. I accepted my fate and got my braces 'installed' last October.

Anxious to have gotten them on, this new self conscious me was hoping these feelings would fade. Little did I know months later I would have isolated myself from social activities, felt horridly awkward smiling or being in pictures, and contemplating just taking them off. I cry daily, and constantly feel depressed. I know no one probably enjoys braces in their twenties but I honestly don't think I can move forward--this is only month 6....

My usual self is giggly, vivacious, adventurous, and talkative--I feel like I've lost a lot of what I love about myself these past few months and now I'm at a loss. Even writing this down is bringing me to tears. I know it's important to have a great smile and I have a bit of an overbite to fix, but I'm now not sure if this journey is for me--at least right now.

Not sure how to approach my ortho, or my mom (who is a dental assistant) who pushed me to take this step in the first place.

Thoughts? Xx[/quote]

[JCloNY]

Hi Cait,

First I'm sorry to hear you are down but I'm glad you are reaching out. It sucks to have to go through another sentence of braces but be glad you are in your 20's and not in your mid-30's (such as yours truly) getting the issues addressed. At least you are six months in meaning you have 25% done. Try not to let braces take you away from being you. Go out and still be you. I have come to find I am pleasantly surprised at how many people have already had braces and how little they notice them. Pep up, pour yourself a glass of wine and face tomorrow with a positive attitude as this will pass.

[jem]

Dear Cait,

So what happens if you get your braces taken off and you still feel down?

When we feel down it is easy to blame it on a particular person or thing for causing our problems. Braces as an adult aren't such a big deal and a lively character like you should not be overly bothered by them, especially after 6 months to get used to them again. They certainly don't make you any less attractive or less able to enjoy a good social life.

So I agree you should try to get out and have some fun/spend time with friends/do some voluntary work and enjoy your life as a young adult.

It may be that you are just feeling down generally.Lots of people feel down sometimes. If you can't shake it off with the help of friends and family, counselling will help and you can probably access this through your doctor.

Good luck and please keep posting,

Jem

[djspeece]

That's a very difficult situation for sure. I guess the overriding question is: Do you feel you will benefit from braces at this point? I know you have pressures from others, especially your mom, but what do you think? I imagine your mom is like most and only wants what best for you, and has your best interest at heart. What does she see as the benefit? How much do you agree with her assessment? It may be a good time to talk to her about your feelings. Braces at my advanced age of 65 is a whole different experience from someone in their 20's. I sometimes think there is a golden window of opportunity for braces, in which all of your friends have them and they are cool, such as in the teens. After that is a bit of a struggle for most of us. Of course at my age I don't care as much about what other people think (actually have been this way most of my life but now I am a real mess ).
If you have experienced a lot of being down or blue over the years, perhaps you are clinically depressed and should consider treatment. At least discuss it with your physician. There are a lot of very effective medications and medication combinations available. The signs of depression can be subtle and they can sneak up on you. Just because you are not suicidal (hopefully) at this point does not mean you are not depressed. Just something to think about from an old nurse.
Along those lines, you may want to consider a short bout of therapy to help you sort out your feelings and perhaps discover what is at the root of these sad feelings. As jem suggested there may be more to this than just having braces, although God knows they can be depressing in and of themselves. I can't say I faced everyday with a smile when I had braces. And I ABSOLUTELY HATED being photographed because the braces seemed to give the impression that my teeth were rotting like one of those characters on "Pirates of the Caribbean" movies. Perhaps I am a little over dramatic, but I love to have my picture taken, frankly, and am quite extroverted and love being at the center of things. Braces were not really my friend. I really didn't retreat, but it is all a question of degree for all of us. I am glad I had braces -- my two year sentence stretched to three and I was about to go out of my mind with impatience as I planned various holidays and milestones to brace-free, but it was another whole year. And it was like water drop torture -- you know, going in to the ortho for an adjustment and hoping against hope to hear things like "Well Dan you are really making great progress, I think it's about time for them to come off" and so forth, but no, it was a "Hmm, well let's keep doing what we have been doing..." What we had been doing is going out of our minds with frustration! But I think one difference in your case is that you are having a difficult time seeing the future state -- perhaps you really don't trust your ortho because of your bad experience with the first one and fear relapse. I hope your ortho can explain your treatment plan in a compelling but realistic way so that you can see beyond today, if you know what I mean.
You can still be the "old" you with braces. The trick is find the way there. Best of luck to you and vent any time here, there are lots of sympathetic ears. Most everyone here has struggled with braces at some point during their treatment. There may be a few people who loved to have braces, but I'm betting they are self-administering narcotics and other mind-altering substances because normal people are at least a little anxious about having a mouth full of metal for a few years.
Hang in there.

[Kaya]

I believe some part of you still wants 'that'smile you dream of. Unfortunately nothing good is handed down, at least nothing good that lasts! Try to see it as a fun metamorphosis where your face goes through different kinds of smilestuff until you reach 'the one'.
You are not the only one, there are teenagers, adults, older adults, we all go through this journey. If you let your braces dictate your personality, then there's always going to be something else constantly in life that will be challenging and would you sit there torture yourself for it? I'm sure some part of you wanted this, otherwise you wouldn't have let anyone talk you into this. Since you are on the roller coaster, might as well enjoy the ride. Nothing lasts forever.

[YoShe1980]

Hi Cait,

I hope you're doing better today. I've just started this whole braces process myself this past Monday, at the young age of 35. I know there will be times that I will feel like no one around understands what I'm going through with braces, but just know that there are many people on here who do. Reach out to them for support and remember that you are not alone in this journey. You've endured it twice before and the third time is the charm! Good luck to you and keep your head up and keep smiling that big cheesy smile, because in the end, it will be a beautiful smile. Godspeed.

[NeilH]

Hi, I hope you start to feel better about yourself soon. Dan has published a detailed and insightful post that I think says everything (and more) than I would have said and questions whether it is really your braces that are the cause of these feelings. Orthodontics should never be undertaken lightly as it is quite a commitment but the benefits both now and into the future are enormous and certainly worth the effort if you can pull through this rough patch.

[Cait]

Thank you so much for the support, it means everything. I think a lot of my frustrations are stemming from the lack of control. That's always been one of the hardest things for me to grasp dealing with my teeth-that a bit of metal dictating my esteem.

I scheduled a sit down with my orthodontist to see what my best approach would be. I know it's the smart and practical decision to keep moving forward. But I've always listened to my heart rather than my head, so I may choose to end treatment and just set my teeth where they are for now, and focus on me for a bit.

Blessings to all Xx

[MummaFish48]

Hi Cait....

I can only echo all that has been said here.....I am 53...put this off for years, never had the opportunity as a teenager and am about to go through it..
You are young and it will be SO worth it...
There may well be an underlying reason for you feeling so low...
REALLY do talk this through with someone you know and say how you feel, sharing things really does help.
I have been so stressed over getting my braces as I had not told a soul, only my husband..
Yesterday I started telling people and it feels better already...
Hope you get this sorted...
Sending you positive thoughts.

[Tyrantblade]

I think you should tough it out to go the distance, i know it can all seem like a drag/hassle, but if you can get large benefits from completing treatment it will all be worth it in the end

But it's a decision nobody can make for you, so just think things over and come to a decision you feel comfortable with

[angelina]

I think a lot of us adults with braces can relate. It's a big deal. The social side of things has definitely been the biggest hurdle when it comes to braces for me though not to the extent you feel. I definitely started feeling better after just a couple of months of hiding.

I really worry that if you asked to have them off early you will just have the same problem twice - having them off early and then later down the track having them put back on. Of course, if you feel you really need it you have to do what you feel is best.

The only thing I can think of is talking to your orthodontist about some more subtle options (Invisalign?) or ceramic. Or if you're still feeling really down there is always the option of talking to someone like a psychologist. There is absolutely no shame if you need to seek help because you're feeling down, I promise you most of us go through a depressive bout at some point in their life. Having braces is really hard and it sounds like you need a lot of care and support right now

[andrea83]

How is it going? I really hope you've found a path forward. If the chat with the Orthodontist doesn't help ... have you considered a therapist? (sorry I know that's personal, you don't have to answer here just hope you find whatever you need to get through this slump)

[Cait]

I did end up taking the braces off, and even though they may have seemed drastic, I know it was the right decision for me. I switched over to Invisalign, and am loving my metal free mouth.

Thank you so much for the support I definitely did feel like I was in a dark place, the braces was just a tipping point to my self esteem. I am in school and going through a teaching credential program, where I am constantly pushed out of my comfort zone, having my smile and esteem boosted has made a massive difference.

Cheers to all of you for all of the support and words of wisdom <3

[andrea83]

Cheers