My Husband's Teeth :( UPDATED!!!!

[BraceMD]

Thank you everyone, for your kind comments. After the ortho visit yesterday, I was afraid my husband was angry and discouraged enough to give up the entire idea of orthodontics.

But now, a day later, we are talking about calling around and getting other consultations. It's going to be damn inconvenient, and a little strange, with us both going to different orthodontists... but the fact of the matter is that my ortho obviously is not comfortable with treating my husband without surgery, and he (and I) just do not want to have his jaw broken (I called an oral surgeon and they said that "jaw expanding surgeries" usually involve a 2 day hospital stay... it's just too much).

My husband's teeth are very complicated, poor guy, but there has to be a way to make his teeth better without breaking his jaw. Maybe not perfect, but better. (His lower jawbone is really small- resulting in a 10 mm overbite. I love his little jaw- it makes him look so cute! I wouldn't WANT them to realign it because I like it the way it is!)


Thanks for listening (err, reading), everyone!

[Tim]

Maybe he was having a rough day? I mean you seem to be having normal experiance with this ortho right? I know you're not supposed to bring you're personal life to work, but lets be reasonable....NO ONE can do that.
Give him the benefit of a doubt... and if all else fails, maybe this ortho isn't "experianced" enough for your husbands complicated case and your husband should see a different ortho

Whilst everyone has good days and bad days, if you are in a customer-facing profession, you'd better not let that impact how you conduct yourself at work! And condescension is entirely unacceptible behaviour in a so-called medical professional.

Even professionals are human


Good deal "BraceMD"!! If he really wants to improve his teeth visiting a different ortho then you is a small price to pay

[Kayla]

I must have a good ortho. I had 3 options to choose from 1. braces top only (12mnths) 2. braces top and bottom (18mnths.) 3. braces top and bottom and jaw surgery to move my jaw forward (24mnths.
He didn't get upset at all that I didn't want surgery and was comfortable with what ever decision I made. He wanted surgery but didn't try to force it on me.
BTW: I opted for #2 and been braced top since Jan. '05 and bottom since June '05

[greencapt]

***SORRY ABOUT THE LONG POST, SKIP TO THE END FOR MY CONCLUSION IF YOU LIKE!***

Hi BMD! I also had a similar experience. But first let me ask- are you really an MD? Also how 'bad' are your teeth.

I ask because A) my teeth are a complicated lot and B) my wife is a Family Practice MD (and I her office manager )

When I decided that my years of ignoring my teeth's shape and condition were over I first went to a 'respected' dentist to get a consult. This dentist did mainly implants and surgeries but shared an office with his wife who was a general dentist. I thought this would be great because I wouldn't have to go to several clinics. I wanted to know my options from A to Z, or in this case from taking them all out and getting dentures to leaving them alone. Bear in mind that I am 34. This first dentist *sorta* gave me options but didn't really listen to me. He made impressions as part of his 'initial' exam but later charged me $250 dollars extra for them as part of a 'implant workup'. He then said he'd consult with his wife about the general dentristry that I would need. On my second visit to go over his ideas my wife came with me. Discovering she was an MD, the dentist spoke ONLY to her (with me in front of him!) and he became a condescending prick. He said palate surgery was my only option and that because I had asked for all options he assumed I was a pain wuss and said that the extractions I needed would all have to be done at once and under general anesthesia. He also indicated that he would do implants but that his wife wouldn't do my general work so he had set up an appoinment with another general dentist in town.

Needless to say this left a bad taste in my mouth. BUT I kept the appointment with the other dentist.

So I went for THAT consult and that dentist, about my same age (not that that matters), took one look at my mouth and almost recoiled. I could tell instantly by the look on his face that he thought I was too much work. Now my teeth are *crooked* (or crowded like those orthos like to say) and I needed some extractions but I was going to these 'professionals' with my pride in my hand asking for help and knowing full well that I 'should have had work done a long time ago'. He also said that I would need to get my palate split and spread as well. This second consult basically served to depress me and had me questioning my self-worth. Luckily I started to think about how both of these dentists were newer in our town. I also thought about how as an MD my wife and I have to struggle endlessly to get insurances to pay for even routine health care for our patients but how dentists mostly don't take insurance and even for people with dental insurance here in the States it doesn't pay for much. THAT led me to think about the nice new BMWs and Porches these dentists were driving- paid for easily with the sweet profits from $1500 implants and $250 useless 'prep work' impressions. But I digress- sorry.

So, fearing that my depression would increase if I saw yet another dentist, I called an 'old-school' local ortho who had braced just about everyone I know who has had braces. His consult was FREE (the others weren't and I was already out about $550 so far to find out NOTHING) so I took a gamble and went. And you know what? Nice people, no condenscending attitude (evening knowing my wife was an MD) and he genuinely seemed *excited* about the challenge I represented! He said the surgery was not need as I had plenty of room to move in my mouth. He did want to expand my palate with 6 months wearing a Quad Helix though. AND he recommended another 'old-school' town dentist for me to go to and get my extractions and prep done. Even THAT dentist was/is wonderful and I had 8 extractions over a few visits without a lick of pain! Great stuff!

So the moral of my story is: look around, don't take crap off of anyone, and feel free to question the 'professionals' motivations.

After all- it is YOUR (or your husband's in this case) MOUTH! Any health care provider should be there for YOU as a patient and take into consideration your hopes and fears and speak to you in a civil manner. Just because someone has training and perhaps technical skill that is no excuse for being an ass.

I hope this has helped!

[braceface53]

Oh my gosh, are you serious? That's awful, lol. But good luck with your treatment. . .and whoever your husband decides on.

[BraceMD]

GreenCapt, thank you for your comment and story...I agree that just because someone has training, it's no excuse for acting like an SOB.

I am in medical school right now, so in a few years I will be a "true" MD. And my teeth aren't that bad- I have a severe crossbite and protruding canines... nothing like my poor husband.

The thing that irritates me about orthodontists is when they question, "why didn't you have orthodontic treatment when you should have " as a teenager or child. As if everyone in the world has had good dental care and plenty of money to spend on their children's smiles. And that's part of what upset my husband so much about the consult the other day. He KNOWS his teeth are terrible. He KNOWS that he should have had massive ortho treatment as a child. He KNOWS that his lower jaw is abnormally small and that dental professionals have "never seen a case like his before". He's been embarrassed about his teeth for 33 years- there's no reason to make him more embarrassed by pointing all of these things out again and again.

The entire thing has irritated me enough that I don't want to go back to my ortho. I have lost respect for him. But he has my money and I can't change my own wires on my Damon 3's, so I will bear it. My ortho drives a porche too and lives in a 5,000 square foot house, by the way greencapt (I was amused that you mentioned that).

I'll update everyone when we figure out a plan for my husband's teeth.

[greencapt]

thanks BraceMD!

lol... Porsches... My wife drove the same 1989 Honda Civic (bought new in highschool) until she was out of residency (about 3 years ago). Trust me- for those who take the time to *care* for patients there not much room for luxury in the, say, first 20 years of your practice!

I was always ...aware... of my teeth but I had learned to basically just cover them and try not to think of them too much. I *totally* feel your husband's pain becasue when you spend a couple of weeks going from dentist to dentist having them almost deride you for 'not having taking care of yourself' and not stopping to think 'gee, not everyone had a family that could afford it' it really begins to wear you down.

I'm sure you're in med school with the whole spectrum- those who care and those who only care about the paycheck. Your man will find another ortho- and frankly, depending on your contract, you could too if you want.

Keep on smiling- both of you!

[BraceMD]

Well, we've made a little progress on the braces issue with my husband...

We finally went for a consultation with an ortho who is willing to treat my husband without surgery.

It was awkward, because I had gone to this guy for a consultation but chose not to be treated there. So we walk in and the ortho remembers me, and sees that I have braces on my teeth from ANOTHER ortho...

But I digress. This ortho was nice to my husband, not condescending, not critical of him for "neglecting his orthodontic needs all these years", didn't question why he didn't wear braces as a teen...

He is willing to do extractions, in lieu of jaw surgery, to pull my husband's upper teeth back, rather than moving his lower jaw forward.

Again, thanks for the encouraging comments given beforehand. It looks like this will work! It is going to be strange, with us going to different orthodontists, but that's the way it goes, I guess...

[shinyam]

Glad things worked out for you in the end. I guess it would have been best if you went to this new ortho first for your own teeth as well, but hindsight is 20/20, right?

The other ortho should be ashamed of his unprofessional behavior.

[CelestialVoices]

I agree, the way that other ortho acted was REALLY unprofessional. Glad things are finally working out for you

[BraceMD]

The other ortho should be ashamed of his unprofessional behavior.

Yes, he should be. I just want him to make my teeth look nice, then forget about him. Too bad I didn't realize what a jerk he is until he had my money... but I can manage to keep a professional relationship with the guy, even if I don't like him or respect him.

[tofino]

Hi.

There are times when I really wonder about my ortho's attitude. I have no fuse when it comes to receiving abruptness from people who are taking lots of my money. But I respect technical competency more than I need to lash back at weaknesses in the warmth department. Second opinions would always seem like a wise move though, wouldn't it.

My viewpoint is that if your potential or current ortho seems to be socially lacking or worse, but yet s/he seems to be extremely busy and has a reputation for knowing how to move all kinds of teeth, then maybe consider that, yes, s/he is lucky to get your money, but you might also be really lucky to be treated by somebody with great skill. As far as I'm concerned, an ortho office can have all the SPAMS, background music, aromatherapy, and cheery people in the world. These are all nice but four times a day I look closely in the mirror and I feel good. (I would, however, stand up and walk out on any family doctor who acted in such a way; I find the two situations totally different, at least for me.)

So for now I am keeping my ortho in charge of the project. It was no different when I hired a testy contractor to install my woodstove - I figured that with a fire burning at night in the house that my kids are sleeping in, competency was the actual issue, and I was lucky to get him.

But that's just me, probably in the minority.

Cheers

Glen

[BraceMD]

I agree with you, Tofino. My ortho has a busy office and strong reputation around here, so I trust his technical competency. Before I had braces, I had four consultations with various orthos, and I liked his methods best... I didn't realize what a meanie he was... but my teeth are looking great... so I'll handle his attitude (and his toupee, which is another topic althogether).

[tofino]

Hi.

A Toupee... now that's where I draw the line. Let him face his hair loss like the rest of us boys: with a dazzling brave smile, a barber's razor set to #2 or #1, and a whimper.

Cheers

Glen