Check out this post I wrote on my experiences with dating with braces. I really was torn between whether I should tell a guy I'd been seeing that I got braces so he wasn't too surprised, or just meet up with him without telling him and let him notice himself.
I chose to tell him in the end, and you can read the blog post to find out how it went down
But im really interested to know how others handle this? Is it necessary to tell someone?! Does it matter?!
I'd also love to hear whether you've been in similar situations, whether you did/didn't tell and what the outcome was
Having braces seems weird and is annoying but its not anything important, its not a flaw or anything! Would you find it nevessary to tell yout date "oh by the way im a redhead, are u okay with that?" No way, it is totally normal! And if ur really uncomfortable or insecure about your braces, then dont draw attention to them and remember, you are so amazing! Braces shouldnt be treated like anything else, and if someone doesnt like you because u have braces, then wtf?!?!?! They dont deserve u lol
I agree- you make a good point actually. Telling is almost like asking that person for approval!
I think braces is a super shallow reason to reject someone, so that person wouldn't be worth it anyway. Plus its only temporary, when I have amazing teeth i'm sure they'd come running back! LOL!
Yeah I agree. I didn't tell my boyfriend. I actually had a lot of work down on my teeth before and had crowns redone but I never told him till he actually saw me. Then he asked me what I was getting fixed and I told him. He is super supportive now and says he didn't see a issue with my smile before but whatever I wanted to do. He went thru it also when he was younger so he is understanding on painful days, he was just smarter then me and actually wore his retainer
I got braces really early into the relationship with my boyfriend and discussed it with him - fortunately he was totally fine with it, which helped me make the decision to do it. I think once you get used to them it becomes much less of an issue, in that you forget that they are something unusual, and feel more like part of your face.
I was thinking about this when I first got my braces, because this is a relevant issue for me. I figured that if someone rejects me on the basis on the status if my teeth, then they aren't someone worth my time.
I have to be honest, I was very uneasy and self-conscious about my BF even seeing my teeth. My teeth don't naturally show much when speaking and I NEVER smile with my teeth showing. I'm sure he caught glimpses of them but never said anything and didn't seem to care. However, one day after we moved in together and over a few stiff drinks (liquid courage, I guess), I spilled out my whole story about how I grew up, my lack of dental care, and my self-consciousness about my teeth. I guess it was extra hard for me to talk to him about this because he grew up in a super rich family, has perfect teeth, and has never really had to struggle for anything in his life. And you know what? He just said, well of course I know you're teeth aren't perfectly straight but I love you anyway for who you are. (which is a very kind way to describe my teeth as I would characterize them as totally messed up, but I digress...). That day I ended up opening my mouth up and showing him everything going on in there and honestly I have never felt so nakedly vulnerable in my entire life. In that moment, my teeth represented every messed up situation I dealt with as a child, and all the built up shame and anxiety, due to growing up so poor. And it was like I had just ripped off some mask covering my inner, fragile core. I suppose you could say that it was both terrifying and liberating all at once. In that moment, he focused on being accepting and showing how much he loved me but later he gently started encouraging me to see the dentist. About 3 months ago, I went to the dentist for the first time in many, many years. Prior to going in, my BF said, "I don't care how much it costs, we are doing whatever they tell you that needs to be done, we'll figure out the budget later. I just want you to be healthy and happy." So of course my dentist recommended braces, along with some other things. When I got back home and shared all this with my BF, he was so supportive and has remained unwavering in his encouragement. In fact, sometimes he seems downright giddy that I'm getting braces. He says its because he doesn't want me to get heart disease (which apparently happens when you have dental issues?) but I think it's because he knows I will be happier and more confident in myself when it's all said and done. I get my braces on this Friday and I have no concerns about how it will impact my relationship. The process is still going to be really hard and way too long but it is really great to have such a supportive significant other.
41Braced wrote: ↑Mon Jan 22, 2018 3:59 pm
I have to be honest, I was very uneasy and self-conscious about my BF even seeing my teeth. My teeth don't naturally show much when speaking and I NEVER smile with my teeth showing. I'm sure he caught glimpses of them but never said anything and didn't seem to care. However, one day after we moved in together and over a few stiff drinks (liquid courage, I guess), I spilled out my whole story about how I grew up, my lack of dental care, and my self-consciousness about my teeth. I guess it was extra hard for me to talk to him about this because he grew up in a super rich family, has perfect teeth, and has never really had to struggle for anything in his life. And you know what? He just said, well of course I know you're teeth aren't perfectly straight but I love you anyway for who you are. (which is a very kind way to describe my teeth as I would characterize them as totally messed up, but I digress...). That day I ended up opening my mouth up and showing him everything going on in there and honestly I have never felt so nakedly vulnerable in my entire life. In that moment, my teeth represented every messed up situation I dealt with as a child, and all the built up shame and anxiety, due to growing up so poor. And it was like I had just ripped off some mask covering my inner, fragile core. I suppose you could say that it was both terrifying and liberating all at once. In that moment, he focused on being accepting and showing how much he loved me but later he gently started encouraging me to see the dentist. About 3 months ago, I went to the dentist for the first time in many, many years. Prior to going in, my BF said, "I don't care how much it costs, we are doing whatever they tell you that needs to be done, we'll figure out the budget later. I just want you to be healthy and happy." So of course my dentist recommended braces, along with some other things. When I got back home and shared all this with my BF, he was so supportive and has remained unwavering in his encouragement. In fact, sometimes he seems downright giddy that I'm getting braces. He says its because he doesn't want me to get heart disease (which apparently happens when you have dental issues?) but I think it's because he knows I will be happier and more confident in myself when it's all said and done. I get my braces on this Friday and I have no concerns about how it will impact my relationship. The process is still going to be really hard and way too long but it is really great to have such a supportive significant other.
I don't venture into this particular forum very often, and I know your post is over a year old, but I have to say how moving this post is, and that I hope it all worked out for you both. Best of luck.
Dan
Pain is inevitable. Suffering is optional. -- Buddist saying
