What Happens When You Meet Other Adults in Braces?

[Clo]

Unbelievable,

I have now braces for about 2 years and never saw another adult in
braces. Until the day this post was placed. A woman in a DIY shop.
What a coincidence ! And I was like, hey, another 'colleague'. And
yes, it was a nice 'ice breaker'. I think though she must have been
thinking that I must have been an ortho myself. I mean, after being
on this forum for more than 2 years, one does know a bit more about
braces. She was telling about how they split her palate to widen the
upper arch. I think normally when she says that, others don't have a
clue about what she is speaking. But after reading stories here, I
certainly did. I almost said something like, oh, you did have SARPE.
But I didn't. Anyway, it was a nice chat.

[Brandyleigh35]

I have met a couple of other women in braces, actually a bit younger than I (in their 30's.) I have been rather surprised at how self conscious some people are with these things. I guess I just don't take myself that seriously, nor really care what other people think of my braces, but I just smile and act pretty much the same. They don't bother me, or embarrass me, I have found that the other women I have spoken with did not feel the same though. They would try and hide them when they talked and were really pretty embarrassed by them, they also didn't seem to have very good self esteem either.

I guess I just figure life is too short to worry about something so inconsequential as braces! Personally I'm rather enjoying mine. I work at a school and feel like it has brought me closer to the the kids. I can relate to what they are going through...and the kids think its totally cool that I have braces on. Most of the women I run into are parents and like I said, so far I have not met one yet that is as comfortable with her braces as I am with mine. Do you think perhaps its an age thing?? Like maybe the older you get the more comfortable you get in your own skin and the less you really care about what others think? Just a thought!

Brandy

[Banana1214]

I've seen other adults in braces, but my only experience actually talking to someone came the other day. I was in the restroom at a restaurant and the only sinks were the ones lined up on the wall, so I couldn't discreetly pick and brush and swish in a private stall. So anyway, here I am, brushing away and trying not to be embarrassed about it when a woman walks out of her stall and up to the sink. She washes her hands and says, "I wish I'd brought my toothbrush" and kind of laughs. I think she just thinks I'm really anal or something, so I look up and say, "Oh, I have braces, so I have to brush." And she smiles and says, "So do I."

Dummy me for thinking I'm the only woman in Florida with braces.

And for the record, when I read "ocean parties," for some reason the image that immediately popped into my head was a scene from Sex and the City when the girls were at a party in the Hamptons with the ocean in the background. So I didn't even think ocean party sounded weird at all! (Maybe I'm weird...)

[jcdamon3]

And for the record, when I read "ocean parties," for some reason the image that immediately popped into my head was a scene from Sex and the City when the girls were at a party in the Hamptons with the ocean in the background. So I didn't even think ocean party sounded weird at all! (Maybe I'm weird...)

Me too! I mean, maybe not the Sex and the City thing (although I think I know the episode you are talking about) but I really pictured maybe a party on a yacht or something!

Like maybe the older you get the more comfortable you get in your own skin and the less you really care about what others think? Just a thought!

I agree with this. I have mellowed out ALOT with age. I think I was much more self conscious before. Now I have nothing to lose! It's great!

[jcdamon3]

Oh, by the way. To answer what happens when I meet other adults in braces. Sorry about missing the original topic! I have met two women in braces and one was waiting in line behind me at starbucks and she noticed my braces and said something. She wore invisalign and didn't have them on at that moment. The other one was standing in front of me in line and I said something to her.

After reading the posts on here I am going to try to be more sensitve to people because since I am not self conscious about mine I just assume others feel the same way.

[payoki]

Yeah...I too feel like I just ran into someone wearing the exact samething. I don't know why. Perhaps I think my reason for getting braces was too vain? I used to have almost perfect teeth and barely noticeable overjet. Everyone was asking why I got my braces, at first I had to go around and giving close ones excuses even making up stories like I have TMJ to justify my getting braces. Now it's been almost a year so everyone is used to it. I still cringe though when I run into other adults who are wearing a braces.

[paw655]

I truly don't understand how it could be considered OK to comment to any other adult (or child) on their braces at all? I was raised not to comment on other peoples' physical appearance (when things are beyond their control), period, whether it is a mole on their nose or braces on their teeth, so I'm pretty baffled by this thread.

I don't mean to be rude, I just don't get it.

[Way Too Old For This]

I truly don't understand how it could be considered OK to comment to any other adult (or child) on their braces at all? I was raised not to comment on other peoples' physical appearance (when things are beyond their control), period, whether it is a mole on their nose or braces on their teeth, so I'm pretty baffled by this thread.

I don't mean to be rude, I just don't get it.

Braces are far from being "beyond one's control" like a physical deformity. I would never comment on something like that. However, I am an open friendly person and I think people pick up on that right away and feel comfortable commenting on my braces. And they are correct in feeling comfortable, because I don't mind at all.

To me its just another thing to talk about. I have so many more stressful serious happenings in my life to worry about getting insulted because someone comments on something I don't mind talking about. Indeed, I like talking about them or I wouldn't come to this forum.

[Xcentric]

The only people I ever see in braces (adults, teens or kids) all seem to be almost done with their treatments. Their teeth look so straight. So then I really don't want to open my mouth at all. I feel like people are staring at my mouth.

[Aradia252]

I completely agree, Paw655. I think that it is fine to say something to someone about such a thing if you know them well. However I think that it is completely inappropriate and rude to say such things to a stranger.

[paw655]

I truly don't understand how it could be considered OK to comment to any other adult (or child) on their braces at all? I was raised not to comment on other peoples' physical appearance (when things are beyond their control), period, whether it is a mole on their nose or braces on their teeth, so I'm pretty baffled by this thread.

I don't mean to be rude, I just don't get it.

Braces are far from being "beyond one's control" like a physical deformity. I would never comment on something like that. However, I am an open friendly person and I think people pick up on that right away and feel comfortable commenting on my braces. And they are correct in feeling comfortable, because I don't mind at all.

To me its just another thing to talk about. I have so many more stressful serious happenings in my life to worry about getting insulted because someone comments on something I don't mind talking about. Indeed, I like talking about them or I wouldn't come to this forum.

There's nothing wrong with talking about your own braces, that's certainly your prerogative. But, because there's no way of knowing if the person you are talking to is or is not sensitive about theirs, I don't want to put someone in an uncomfortable spot, just because I am comfortable, so I just let it go. I mean, I wouldn't comment if they had a huge gap between their front teeth, so why should I comment on their braces?

[NotBob1]

I think this is a great topic!

I would have commented to someone I met, a stranger perhaps, about their braces. I have to say, however, after reading all of the above posts and having it appear as though there is a 50/50 split between those who would strike up a conversation with me and those who would think I was out of line for commenting, I now would second guess my decision to say something as I may offend the other party.

I had a client bring his car in who had braces and a recently added midline elastic across the front. (as I will have soon as well) He commented on my braces as we wre going over his vehicle and what was to be done. I was happy to talk to him about it. The funny thing was, when he picked up the car, he used one of the pens on my desk to write his check and noticed the pen as it is distinct in color. He laughed and asked if this was my ortho.....It turns out we have the same orthodontist! There are, BTW, a bazillion orthos in my area, so this was a small world syndrome.

I guess I would not say something just out of the blue to someone I passed on the street, but, if it were a sales person or something, I would try to read the situation to see if there was any facial response on their part to seeing my metal mouth. If there was nothing, I would let it go. If there was something, and I said something, and then received a negative, shy or embarassed response I would drop it right there. Otherwise I would strike up a conversation with them about it and probably even mention this board and the DentaKit site as great resources. (Lynn, as a small business person, likes reading these posts, I would imagine!!)

To me it is no big deal, however, 20 years ago when I did this the first time, it was a big deal and I would have been embarrased if someone said something.

In the Seattle area we (a group of Archwired posters) have started a small get together once a month or so. The group of 5 or so couples that have attended, so far, are quite open about their treatment and actually enjoy having other adults to hang out with from time to time to compare notes on our contraptions and, well, just have a good time! So I may be thinking that all people (or most) who are doing the adult braces routine are as open about it as the above said group. This thread leads me to believe otherwise and therefore I will be a little more careful with my open comments about braces with strangers who happen to have them...... It will save a possible uncomfortable situation.

I suppose, though, it would be no different than using crutches and asking someone else in them what their injury/surgery was for....Or if I had MS or another type of physical dis-order and noticed someone else with the same or similar and I said something. Would that be so bad? Now if I,without the above issues, said something to someone with above said issues, this would be completely wrong and out of line. We are talking about braces, though, and for the most part, it is elective and not a dis-ability. It is kind of an adventure and not a dis-ability, so I really think it different from saying: I see you are in a wheelchair. How'd that happen? Which we were all (I hope) taught not to do as young people.

[Anticipator]

Wow, I'm really surprised by the sensitivity of some of the people on here.

I usually get excited when I meet another adult in braces. There've been a few times I've started up the topic, and usually I offer up this website as a resource (I'm still waiting for a new poster to come on here and say that it was recommended by some random guy with braces in San Diego)

I see it more as commiserating rather than highlighting someone else's physical qualities. If you were just a random stranger prying, I agree that could be potentially rude, but if you're in treatment too, I see it as more awkward to both pretend to ignore it.

[NotBob1]

Good point, Anticipator!

[jennielee81]

I was reading this topic yesterday before lunch and while at lunch I was thinking about how people I've talked to with braces reacted. Most of them were stunned that I said anything so I would just drop it. Of 5 or so people, only 1 was enthusiastic about my noticing.

THEN when I came back into my classroom after lunch, there was a woman working on one of the computers and as the kids were coming back in, I asked her (sarcastically) if she'd rather like to stay with the kids and I would take the computer out and then I smiled my huge smile and she enthusiastically smiled at me and said, "Wow! You have braces!"

I just stood there, teeth sticking out all embarassed! I was so shocked at my own reaction. Then she said that she'd just gotten hers off. Her teeth were beautiful, I told her, and she said that it was ALL WORTH IT. I enjoyed talking to her about it, but I still felt funny.

At other times, people (even unbraced people) have said something and I didn't feel funny about it then...maybe it was just an off day for me.

My point (finally) is that some days we may be more sensitive than other days. JMHO...