I have to respond to this post. First off i'm proud of this thread, of the open responses that some have contributed (Look at the most recent one by Mellephone). Okay, my name is Rob, but it could be chuck or frank. I am 27 but I could be 30 or 60 or 14. Quite frankly none of that has any bearing on the issues i've brought up in this thread.Meryaten wrote:There's a major difference between myself and kudos213 though, Martin. I have been seeking to help and encourage people here since my first post here, I hate to think how long ago, and my posts in this thread have had no intention other than to help people like the OP feel better about themselves.
Nor have I ever presented myself to be something or someone I am not.
On the other hand, a quick search of all posts by kudos213 will (as someone smarter than I thought to check) show that he made his first posting on 8th April 2006 (saying, at the time, that he was 25 and that his name is Ben) and did not post again until he popped up again this week and turned this thread into a complete cluster. I'm not sure how someone gets to be 30, just 23 months after being 25 ("rounding" was the excuse given) and nor am I sure why in a PM to me today he now claims his name is Rob. This all certainly leaves me with a lot of questions about motivations and a distinct feeling that we've been played.
Before deriding the fact that i've invoked Socrates, perhaps you should take into account what I related from his life; that Socrates was a man who questioned everyone, from kids on the street to kings and queens not to find out just what they thought, but to understand the REASONING with which they held their beliefs. This was his point.
What is the reasoning behind bringing up my history? Obviously I know i've written here before and I realize I could go back, edit and erase everything...yet I haven't. That's because it does not matter or related directly to what i'm saying in this thread. You claim that i'm misrepresenting myself? Fine. But that does not take away from the content of my argument-that posters like yourself, while claiming to "help people like the original poster" actually hurt them.
YES, hurt them. Because you disregard what they say. You don't empathize with them and acknowledge how they feel, but rather tell them the problem lies elsewhere. I realize a positive attitude has it's place, but if ALL you advocate is a positive attitude then those who listen to you are being hurt...not helped.
I came to this board two years ago when I first got braced and there was (and i'm sure still is) a wealth of good information. But I began to see that every new thread from everyperson was met with a "put on a happy smile, everything is ok" attitude. I didn't take issue with it then.
But this relationship thread, especially the sincere remark by the original poster hit home. I could understand how she felt and thought it was more important to let her know that she wasn't alone-that there are others who are going through the same experience and that that experience is OK. Not everyone may be judged poorly because of their braces, BUT SOME MIGHT. It is in the interest of the poster to at the very least acknowledge this.
Maybe the majority of you who have contributed to this thread can't empathize-maybe you've been in a relationship since the beginning of your treatment. Well good for you. However to do not take it so far as to say that if someone is feeling poorly about their braces that the fault is always entirely with other people. It is ok to take fault with ourselves, and this is what should of been relayed to the OP.
Getting back to the quote that i'm replying to, meryaten you've proven nothing with your post. What i've said so far has nothing to do with my age, my name, where I live, social security etc. If you want to respond to me, stick with the argument that I am making. Likewise it makes no difference to me who you are, how old you are or where you are from. Quite frankly your last post serves to show how immature you are and how baseless your argument is. I'd rather prefer if you didn't have anything constructive to add to the thread that you postpone from contributing. I tried to start an amicable conversation through PM's with meryaten but she continued with her smug and pompous remarks. It was unwarranted and shows her true character. Apparently someone doesn't have that positive attitude they espouse, huh?
For everyone else who thinks that i'm fuming at the top of my head while I write this...you are mistaken. At no point during the day do I have a cooler head than when I write these responses. I'd like to, infact invite more of the lurkers who are reading to share your own experience and respond to what i've said. However, I may respond with my own reasoned and thoughtout remarks. I am prepared to hear what you have to say and hopefully you come to the table with the same eagerness and openmindedness.
Rob, 27, Los Angeles CA.
It's not up to you whether a thread gets closed or not, so don't try and award yourself privileges you don't have!
